I know a few stable triads, a couple of stable quads, a triad that became a quad after about ten years and two couples about two years after that, and a household that I don’t quite know how to characterize but is closer to a line marriage than to any other relationship model I know of. As far as I know, all of them want legal protections that reflect the reality of their relationships. Some of them pursue that on their own, with lawyers; others of them shrug their shoulders and do without those protections. One of the stable quads presents as two married couples.
In general I treat any relationship lasting more than about five years without a major destabilizing crisis as stable. The relationships I’m thinking about… hm. I’d estimate the mean to be about seven years. Of course, the mean relationship time of my cohort increases as I get older.
It’s also worth asking how one should treat open relationships. That is, I know a lot of stable couples who have had third and fourth parties involved in their relationship for a year or two or four; I don’t consider those stable triads or quads, but neither do I consider them monogamous relationships.
I should probably also note that I reject the pervasive cultural notion that a relationship that ends in something other than death has somehow failed.
I know a few stable triads, a couple of stable quads, a triad that became a quad after about ten years and two couples about two years after that, and a household that I don’t quite know how to characterize but is closer to a line marriage than to any other relationship model I know of. As far as I know, all of them want legal protections that reflect the reality of their relationships. Some of them pursue that on their own, with lawyers; others of them shrug their shoulders and do without those protections. One of the stable quads presents as two married couples.
What qualifies as “stable”? How many years have they been together?
In general I treat any relationship lasting more than about five years without a major destabilizing crisis as stable. The relationships I’m thinking about… hm. I’d estimate the mean to be about seven years. Of course, the mean relationship time of my cohort increases as I get older.
It’s also worth asking how one should treat open relationships. That is, I know a lot of stable couples who have had third and fourth parties involved in their relationship for a year or two or four; I don’t consider those stable triads or quads, but neither do I consider them monogamous relationships.
I should probably also note that I reject the pervasive cultural notion that a relationship that ends in something other than death has somehow failed.