My considerations about the love languages (with a partner of mine) was that—once you start considering languages you are already steps ahead of people who are not even trying in a relationship. Because of that it has an effect of winning-by-trying that otherwise wouldn’t happen. whether or not love languages are real is completely debatable; but trying is certainly going to help (and having someone else’s jargon to talk about things that you like/dislike should also help.
further comments; the 5 languages - gifts, quality time, words of affirmation, acts of service (devotion), and physical touch (intimacy)
I value them in this order:
physical, time, and lower—words, and significantly lower—gifts or service.
(as does my partner mentioned above)
There is a sneaky trick that I noticed; considering how much I don’t care for gifts (and neither does my partner); when I gave my partner a gift it tricked my brain into going; “if I have time for gifts I must be fulfilled on the physical, time and word levels”. Not sure why and how it works, but maybe try that?
Because of that it has an effect of winning-by-trying that otherwise wouldn’t happen
I have already noticed this happening; similar to people I know who are avid social media posters who view everything in terms of an instagram post, I have been thinking, “Oh I can journal about that.” (at least for today, the persistence of this affect is yet to be seen) And (in as unbiased of a measurement as can be done) this brings a smile to my face they might not normally arise from hand-holding (for example).
having someone else’s jargon to talk about
I find having jargon very helpful, even if from baseless origins (example: astrology jargon is always helpful for me thinking/talking about personalities)
My considerations about the love languages (with a partner of mine) was that—once you start considering languages you are already steps ahead of people who are not even trying in a relationship. Because of that it has an effect of winning-by-trying that otherwise wouldn’t happen. whether or not love languages are real is completely debatable; but trying is certainly going to help (and having someone else’s jargon to talk about things that you like/dislike should also help.
further comments; the 5 languages - gifts, quality time, words of affirmation, acts of service (devotion), and physical touch (intimacy)
I value them in this order: physical, time, and lower—words, and significantly lower—gifts or service. (as does my partner mentioned above)
There is a sneaky trick that I noticed; considering how much I don’t care for gifts (and neither does my partner); when I gave my partner a gift it tricked my brain into going; “if I have time for gifts I must be fulfilled on the physical, time and word levels”. Not sure why and how it works, but maybe try that?