There is something poisonous about this presentation, that I can’t quite verbalize.
Here’s my verbalization attempt:
First, it’s way too complex—too much stuff on the screen. I’d simplify it to the limit.
Second, personally, I don’t like the color scheme and style they used—I always found colors like these depressing (this is purely subjective impression, others may like it.) Since the video is about the art of clear thinking, I’d use a clearer, simpler, less muddy palette (varied grays/blues, white, and occasional concentrated orange/red/yellow for accenting). Perhaps the muddy colors can be employed to convey unclear thinking (as contrasted by clear thinking) - e.g. the scenes with the irrationalist guy can use this scheme.
Third, the characters seem the same—it’s hard for me to visually distinguish the “good guy” from the “bad guy”—they all look like “American comic book guys from the sixties” to me. Perhaps some stereotyping would help here.
Fourth, the voiceover (and/or) the script seemed boring to me. No turning points, no accents, just several minutes of uninspired monotonous speech.
Two ideas how to fix this: 1. use a professional voice actor, and 2. rewrite the plot to include accents / turning points / reversals etc. (the Bardic conspiracy should have some advice on this). Adding some striking / scary examples would help as well (e.g. Solomon Asch conformity experiment.)
Finally, the video is way too long for today’s attention spans. Should be a couple of minutes maximum.
Here’s my verbalization attempt:
First, it’s way too complex—too much stuff on the screen. I’d simplify it to the limit.
Second, personally, I don’t like the color scheme and style they used—I always found colors like these depressing (this is purely subjective impression, others may like it.) Since the video is about the art of clear thinking, I’d use a clearer, simpler, less muddy palette (varied grays/blues, white, and occasional concentrated orange/red/yellow for accenting). Perhaps the muddy colors can be employed to convey unclear thinking (as contrasted by clear thinking) - e.g. the scenes with the irrationalist guy can use this scheme.
Third, the characters seem the same—it’s hard for me to visually distinguish the “good guy” from the “bad guy”—they all look like “American comic book guys from the sixties” to me. Perhaps some stereotyping would help here.
Fourth, the voiceover (and/or) the script seemed boring to me. No turning points, no accents, just several minutes of uninspired monotonous speech.
Two ideas how to fix this: 1. use a professional voice actor, and 2. rewrite the plot to include accents / turning points / reversals etc. (the Bardic conspiracy should have some advice on this). Adding some striking / scary examples would help as well (e.g. Solomon Asch conformity experiment.)
Finally, the video is way too long for today’s attention spans. Should be a couple of minutes maximum.