Actually the “abridged” part is in reference to the flash-forwards that start out several of the early chapters (I just don’t know how to do those in a way that doesn’t sound confusing). The rest was read straight, directly from the most recent version available at fanfic.net. Eliezer changed the original text of the first chapter a fair bit, which also surprised me when I went back and re-read it in preparation for this.
I’d definitely fix the stumbles in any final version I put out. Is the echo-chamber OK for the letter-writing portion?
Eliezer changed the original text of the first chapter a fair bit...
Ah, you are right. I was looking at an old .pdf copy when I accused you of excessive abridging. As for abridging the flash-forwards, you probably made the right choice. Though you could present them before the announcement of chapter name and title and other boilerplate.
As for the echo chamber, I would save it for things done in ‘Magical Voice’ - spell invocations, oracular pronouncements, sorting hat, etc. I do agree that the letter-writing and thoughts-to-self ought to be distinguished in some way, and perhaps in the same way, but the echo/reverb just doesn’t seem right for them. They should somehow be less portentious, rather than more.
Actually the “abridged” part is in reference to the flash-forwards that start out several of the early chapters (I just don’t know how to do those in a way that doesn’t sound confusing). The rest was read straight, directly from the most recent version available at fanfic.net. Eliezer changed the original text of the first chapter a fair bit, which also surprised me when I went back and re-read it in preparation for this.
I’d definitely fix the stumbles in any final version I put out. Is the echo-chamber OK for the letter-writing portion?
Thanks for the feedback! :)
Ah, you are right. I was looking at an old .pdf copy when I accused you of excessive abridging. As for abridging the flash-forwards, you probably made the right choice. Though you could present them before the announcement of chapter name and title and other boilerplate.
As for the echo chamber, I would save it for things done in ‘Magical Voice’ - spell invocations, oracular pronouncements, sorting hat, etc. I do agree that the letter-writing and thoughts-to-self ought to be distinguished in some way, and perhaps in the same way, but the echo/reverb just doesn’t seem right for them. They should somehow be less portentious, rather than more.