Crossposted from Twitter, might not engage much with comments on LW and I may or may not moderate replies.
PSA: In my book, everyone has an unlimited number of “I don’t understand”, “plz say that again in different words”, “plz expand upon that”, and “plz pause while I absorb that” tokens.
Possession of an unlimited number of such tokens (& their ilk) is one of your sacred rights as a fellow curious mind seeking to understand the world around you. Specifically, no amount of well-intentioned requests for clarification or thinking time will cause me to think you’re an idiot.
I might conclude that there’s more ground to cover than I hoped; I may despair of communicating quickly; I might rebudget my attention. But asking for clarification or time-to-consider won’t convince me you’re a fool. (In fact, I consider it evidence to the contrary!).
If you ask loads of Qs, I sometimes get frustrated. Sometimes b/c my goals were frustrated, but more often it’s b/c I tend to feel strong visceral frustration when asked for clarification re a concept I kinda understand, don’t fully understand, and wish to understand. (I find this breed of frustration quite valuable—it tends to spur me to gain deeper understandings of things I care about. My apologies to those who ask me Qs, watch me get viscerally frustrated, and believe that the frustration is directed at them. Known rent-paying bug.)
I’m not saying that spending these tokens will never cost you. Noticing a big inferential gap can sap my desire to continue, which may sting, etc. etc. But if I do cease my attempts to convey, it will be with sadness—towards my lack of time, not your lack of smarts.
(Also, tbc, the usual outcome is not that I despair of communicating. In my experience, communicating w/ high caliber thinkers on technical topics involves regular and repeated expenditure of these tokens.)
Crossposted from Twitter, might not engage much with comments on LW and I may or may not moderate replies.
PSA: In my book, everyone has an unlimited number of “I don’t understand”, “plz say that again in different words”, “plz expand upon that”, and “plz pause while I absorb that” tokens.
Possession of an unlimited number of such tokens (& their ilk) is one of your sacred rights as a fellow curious mind seeking to understand the world around you. Specifically, no amount of well-intentioned requests for clarification or thinking time will cause me to think you’re an idiot.
I might conclude that there’s more ground to cover than I hoped; I may despair of communicating quickly; I might rebudget my attention. But asking for clarification or time-to-consider won’t convince me you’re a fool. (In fact, I consider it evidence to the contrary!).
If you ask loads of Qs, I sometimes get frustrated. Sometimes b/c my goals were frustrated, but more often it’s b/c I tend to feel strong visceral frustration when asked for clarification re a concept I kinda understand, don’t fully understand, and wish to understand. (I find this breed of frustration quite valuable—it tends to spur me to gain deeper understandings of things I care about. My apologies to those who ask me Qs, watch me get viscerally frustrated, and believe that the frustration is directed at them. Known rent-paying bug.)
I’m not saying that spending these tokens will never cost you. Noticing a big inferential gap can sap my desire to continue, which may sting, etc. etc. But if I do cease my attempts to convey, it will be with sadness—towards my lack of time, not your lack of smarts.
(Also, tbc, the usual outcome is not that I despair of communicating. In my experience, communicating w/ high caliber thinkers on technical topics involves regular and repeated expenditure of these tokens.)