I think it is a species of logical rudeness to judge an idea by its worst advocates. I’m sure any atheists who have been reminded that Hitler was an atheist can sympathize.
Neil Strauss (author of The Game) recently made some good points:
When I wrote The Game and went on to do the press, I told myself that I would neither DEFEND nor ATTACK the seduction community. I’d simply present the truth as it was, the good and the bad.
However, the more interviews I did, the more I realized I was going to have to defend something: The right of guys to learn this.
Anyone who’s ever seen the front page of Cosmopolitan or Sex in the City knows that self-help, sexual improvement, dating advice, and attraction skills is an accepted rite of passage for women.
There is no equivalent for men: We are simply shown images of women we are supposed to desire in the pages of Maxim and Playboy, then not told what to do about it.
People get tutored for everything else in life. If you can’t do math, you get a tutor. Sex in the City was women getting tutored in what to do with different types of men. I think the coolest thing someone could do is recognize their weakness and work to improve it.
When guys ask me questions, it’s usually not about what to do to trick a woman into bed — it’s about how to get over heart- break, whether Alexander Technique will improve their posture, whether improv classes will make them more spontaneous,
what to do about “this one special girl,” how to dress, and so on.
Though some of the “gurus” may have their issues, 99.9 percent of the guys I met learning this are the NICE GUYS. They are the guys women always say they are looking for, yet at the same time are never attracted to.
Usually, the true assholes, jerks, and misogynists are too cocky and arrogant to even consider that they might need to “learn” how to interact with women.
So anyone who’s going to get on a bully pulpit and demonize men for trying to improve themselves is not a friend of mine.
And any pundit who’s going to criticize men for manipulation when that’s exactly what their show producers regularly do to their guests is not a friend of mine.
I think we’re talking past each other. I’m not talking about judging the ideas, I’m talking about judging the worst advocates. Those people are the ones who cause the revulsion, and we as a community need to deny them the spotlight when they act up until they learn better. Otherwise the community comes off as not being a rationalist community, and aspiring rationalists who might be interested walk away.
I don’t even think we’ve been doing a bad job overall. But it’s a job we’re doing, not something that happens automatically.
And this is where differing perceptions are probably causing issues. I haven’t seen any posts here from anyone who is anything nearing the worst advocates, but then I’ve hung around places where these topics are discussed much more confrontationally. I’ve seen nothing I deem worthy of censorship from the advocates, even the ‘worst’, but I have seen examples of what I view as completely unacceptable over-reaction, revulsion and guilt tripping from a small but vocal minority who claim offense.
I am very unsympathetic by nature to people who claim the right to block any conversation that they personally find offensive. My natural reaction to such people is to become more offensive, which while it has some merit from a game-theoretic standpoint is generally not conducive to social decorum so I make an effort to restrain such impulses. So for me, those people are the ones who cause revulsion, and we as a community need to deny them the spotlight when they act up until they learn better. Otherwise the community comes off as not being a rationalist community, and aspiring rationalists who might be interested walk away. So far people who share your perceptions seem to carry the support of the majority but I think there is a significant minority that share my perceptions.
I am very unsympathetic by nature to people who claim the right to block any conversation that they personally find offensive.
Despite some of the rhetoric flying around at the time, I don’t think anyone involved made that sort of claim. It was rather more like “I find this sort of thing offensive” and “Maybe we should listen to him, since lots of people probably would be turned away by that sort of thing, and the offensive bits aren’t really necessary.”
See Eliezer’s contribution, Of Exclusionary Speech and Gender Politics. Nutshell: We should avoid doing things that make people feel excluded, and that includes being sensitive and not being all feministy. So basically we want both of the potentially-interested groups you’ve identified to stay.
ETA: Surely I’ve overstated my case. Eliezer did suggest that he didn’t think it would be a problem to ban PUA if it bothered people; the main idea is that PUA isn’t that important of a topic in the grand scheme of things, so whatever.
It’s not an either-or proposition, I think. I’ll freely concede that I haven’t been particularly sensitive to those sharing your revulsion for political correctness*, but it would be a mistake to offend either group to flatter the other. It’s possible—it’s even been done here—to hold these discussions in a way which is fair to both sides.
It’s just hard. Which is why it’s usually a bad idea to go there.
It’s just hard. Which is why it’s usually a bad idea to go there.
Agree with first quoted sentence. Disagree with second one.
In my view, LessWrong should be a place where we rationally attempt to discuss subjects that would be too controversial to discuss anywhere else. On LessWrong, we can hold arguments in such discussions to higher standards of scrutiny than anywhere else.
I don’t agree with the “it’s hard, so we should give up” approach to discussing controversial subjects on LessWrong. Controversial, mind-killing subjects are exactly where rationalist scrutiny is most needed.
I don’t agree with the “it’s hard, so we should give up” approach to discussing controversial subjects on LessWrong. Controversial, mind-killing subjects are exactly where rationalist scrutiny is most needed.
Here’s a potential conflict in our views of LW’s purpose. I think of it as being about discussing rationality, and things that touch directly on rationality and being rational. In that case discussing controversial, mind-killing subjects is only relevant inasmuch as they cast light on rationality—they’re not inherently interesting.
I’ve posted here before about race/IQ and global warming, and for both of those I’ve felt as if I was covering territory that’s basically offtopic. This didn’t stop me from posting about them, or make me feel bad about it, but I did feel that if I had picked arguments about those topics just because I could, that wouldn’t have suited LW’s purpose. I would avoid writing a top-level post about subjects like that unless I thought it was a good way to make a compelling, more general point about rationality—otherwise I’d likely just be axe-grinding.
To me, it seems obvious that there a lot of links between pickup and rationality (both positive and negative). It’s occurred to me that perhaps I’ve been over-estimating the obviousness of those links to others who don’t have the same background in the subject matter, so I’ve tried to sketch out a bunch of them in my reply to RobinZ.
We may need a category of “this is too hard for us now”, with the possibility left open that as more of us get better at rationality, more difficult topics can be addressed well.
Your terminology is fine. The asymmetry that disturbs me is that while ‘political correctness’ annoys the hell out of me I’m not demanding for it to be a banned topic of conversation to avoid offending my delicate sensibilities. I don’t consider the causing of offense by particular views or topics to be a valid reason to avoid them. Note that this is different from discussing them in a deliberately offensive manner. I generally dislike an unnecessary impolite or aggressive tone to discussions but objecting to an entire topic is going too far in my opinion.
If we are still having this discussion could you link to a couple examples of the posts that you object to so much? I’m trying to figure out whether I missed something, or how similar my perceptions are to yours.
I think it is a species of logical rudeness to judge an idea by its worst advocates. I’m sure any atheists who have been reminded that Hitler was an atheist can sympathize.
Neil Strauss (author of The Game) recently made some good points:
I think we’re talking past each other. I’m not talking about judging the ideas, I’m talking about judging the worst advocates. Those people are the ones who cause the revulsion, and we as a community need to deny them the spotlight when they act up until they learn better. Otherwise the community comes off as not being a rationalist community, and aspiring rationalists who might be interested walk away.
I don’t even think we’ve been doing a bad job overall. But it’s a job we’re doing, not something that happens automatically.
And this is where differing perceptions are probably causing issues. I haven’t seen any posts here from anyone who is anything nearing the worst advocates, but then I’ve hung around places where these topics are discussed much more confrontationally. I’ve seen nothing I deem worthy of censorship from the advocates, even the ‘worst’, but I have seen examples of what I view as completely unacceptable over-reaction, revulsion and guilt tripping from a small but vocal minority who claim offense.
I am very unsympathetic by nature to people who claim the right to block any conversation that they personally find offensive. My natural reaction to such people is to become more offensive, which while it has some merit from a game-theoretic standpoint is generally not conducive to social decorum so I make an effort to restrain such impulses. So for me, those people are the ones who cause revulsion, and we as a community need to deny them the spotlight when they act up until they learn better. Otherwise the community comes off as not being a rationalist community, and aspiring rationalists who might be interested walk away. So far people who share your perceptions seem to carry the support of the majority but I think there is a significant minority that share my perceptions.
Despite some of the rhetoric flying around at the time, I don’t think anyone involved made that sort of claim. It was rather more like “I find this sort of thing offensive” and “Maybe we should listen to him, since lots of people probably would be turned away by that sort of thing, and the offensive bits aren’t really necessary.”
See Eliezer’s contribution, Of Exclusionary Speech and Gender Politics. Nutshell: We should avoid doing things that make people feel excluded, and that includes being sensitive and not being all feministy. So basically we want both of the potentially-interested groups you’ve identified to stay.
ETA: Surely I’ve overstated my case. Eliezer did suggest that he didn’t think it would be a problem to ban PUA if it bothered people; the main idea is that PUA isn’t that important of a topic in the grand scheme of things, so whatever.
It’s not an either-or proposition, I think. I’ll freely concede that I haven’t been particularly sensitive to those sharing your revulsion for political correctness*, but it would be a mistake to offend either group to flatter the other. It’s possible—it’s even been done here—to hold these discussions in a way which is fair to both sides.
It’s just hard. Which is why it’s usually a bad idea to go there.
* I apologize if my terminology is incorrect.
Agree with first quoted sentence. Disagree with second one.
In my view, LessWrong should be a place where we rationally attempt to discuss subjects that would be too controversial to discuss anywhere else. On LessWrong, we can hold arguments in such discussions to higher standards of scrutiny than anywhere else.
I don’t agree with the “it’s hard, so we should give up” approach to discussing controversial subjects on LessWrong. Controversial, mind-killing subjects are exactly where rationalist scrutiny is most needed.
Here’s a potential conflict in our views of LW’s purpose. I think of it as being about discussing rationality, and things that touch directly on rationality and being rational. In that case discussing controversial, mind-killing subjects is only relevant inasmuch as they cast light on rationality—they’re not inherently interesting.
I’ve posted here before about race/IQ and global warming, and for both of those I’ve felt as if I was covering territory that’s basically offtopic. This didn’t stop me from posting about them, or make me feel bad about it, but I did feel that if I had picked arguments about those topics just because I could, that wouldn’t have suited LW’s purpose. I would avoid writing a top-level post about subjects like that unless I thought it was a good way to make a compelling, more general point about rationality—otherwise I’d likely just be axe-grinding.
To me, it seems obvious that there a lot of links between pickup and rationality (both positive and negative). It’s occurred to me that perhaps I’ve been over-estimating the obviousness of those links to others who don’t have the same background in the subject matter, so I’ve tried to sketch out a bunch of them in my reply to RobinZ.
I’m down with a “one does not simply walk into PUA” attitude. I apologize for not saying so.
We may need a category of “this is too hard for us now”, with the possibility left open that as more of us get better at rationality, more difficult topics can be addressed well.
Your terminology is fine. The asymmetry that disturbs me is that while ‘political correctness’ annoys the hell out of me I’m not demanding for it to be a banned topic of conversation to avoid offending my delicate sensibilities. I don’t consider the causing of offense by particular views or topics to be a valid reason to avoid them. Note that this is different from discussing them in a deliberately offensive manner. I generally dislike an unnecessary impolite or aggressive tone to discussions but objecting to an entire topic is going too far in my opinion.
You’re correct. My “usually” was an attempt to acknowledge this—in retrospect, not a competent one.
If we are still having this discussion could you link to a couple examples of the posts that you object to so much? I’m trying to figure out whether I missed something, or how similar my perceptions are to yours.
I can’t point to any specific examples.