IMO the most important factor in interpersonal relations is that it needs to be possible to have engaging/useful conversations. There are many others.
The problem: Somebody who scores low on these, can be pushed up unreasonably high in your ranking through feelings of sexual desire.
The worst thing: Sexual desire drops temporarily in the short term after orgasm, and (I heard) permanently after a 2-year period.
To probe the nature of your love:
If you like women imagine the other person is a man. Did your liking shift? If you like men… etc.
Generally imagine them being physically unattractive, e.g. them being a giant slime monster.
Masturbate and check how much your liking shifted immediately after orgasm.
This helps disentangle lust and love.
Everlasting Honeymoon
I heard some people never leave the “honeymoon phase”. The initial strong feelings of love persist indefinitely. IIRC scientists determined this by measuring oxytocin or something in couples married for decades. Possibly genetic, so it’s not re-creatable.
If the person is a good fit, there’s perhaps nothing wrong with loving them even more on top of that.
Appearance can be compelling in non-primary-sexual ways. Porn is closed, NEPPUU opened.
IMO the most important factor in interpersonal relations is that it needs to be possible to have engaging/useful conversations. There are many others.
The problem: Somebody who scores low on these, can be pushed up unreasonably high in your ranking through feelings of sexual desire.
The worst thing: Sexual desire drops temporarily in the short term after orgasm, and (I heard) permanently after a 2-year period.
To probe the nature of your love:
If you like women imagine the other person is a man. Did your liking shift? If you like men… etc.
Generally imagine them being physically unattractive, e.g. them being a giant slime monster.
Masturbate and check how much your liking shifted immediately after orgasm.
This helps disentangle lust and love.
Everlasting Honeymoon
I heard some people never leave the “honeymoon phase”. The initial strong feelings of love persist indefinitely. IIRC scientists determined this by measuring oxytocin or something in couples married for decades. Possibly genetic, so it’s not re-creatable.
If the person is a good fit, there’s perhaps nothing wrong with loving them even more on top of that.
Appearance can be compelling in non-primary-sexual ways. Porn is closed, NEPPUU opened.