Alas, “false” love can still feel like “true” love from the inside as it’s happening. To tell it’s happening, you’d need to either be really good at keeping a level head, rely on feedback from other people you trust, or just wait until the honeymoon stage passes and find out in hindsight.
The best means I know of dealing with this issue is time. Time to allow yourself to work through your feelings and start to see clearly. It’s very driven by biology, so I expect similar timelines to hold for most people:
The first 3 months of limerence is the most intense. Depending on how you start dating someone, this could start as early as the first date, but more often starts several dates in, maybe around the time you’ve spent 10-20 hours physically together.
Somewhere in the 3-6 month period you start to notice the cracks.
By 1 year you’ll be pretty clear headed. Clear enough to make big life decisions, but also still motivated to some degree by exaggerated feelings. This is probably the time you’re most likely to feel justified in claiming that you found “true love”.
Around 3 years you’ll be totally free of limerence. This is the point where it will be completely obvious how you really feel and if it’s actually “true love”.
These numbers are mostly based on my own experiences, but they match what I’ve heard from others. Probably someone has done a more formal study of relationship/love milestones.
The best means I know of dealing with this issue is time. Time to allow yourself to work through your feelings and start to see clearly. It’s very driven by biology, so I expect similar timelines to hold for most people:
The first 3 months of limerence is the most intense. Depending on how you start dating someone, this could start as early as the first date, but more often starts several dates in, maybe around the time you’ve spent 10-20 hours physically together.
Somewhere in the 3-6 month period you start to notice the cracks.
By 1 year you’ll be pretty clear headed. Clear enough to make big life decisions, but also still motivated to some degree by exaggerated feelings. This is probably the time you’re most likely to feel justified in claiming that you found “true love”.
Around 3 years you’ll be totally free of limerence. This is the point where it will be completely obvious how you really feel and if it’s actually “true love”.
These numbers are mostly based on my own experiences, but they match what I’ve heard from others. Probably someone has done a more formal study of relationship/love milestones.