I think the concept of true love is too confused to be worth rescuing. There’s a fairytale conception of it being idyllic and perfect. There’s the romcom conception of it happening with strangers in unexpected circumstances. And there’s many many people’s personal experience of romance, which they are motivated to describe as true or not true depending on whether they want to keep the relationship or move past it.
Perhaps the definition which you give the phrase is what the meaning ought to befrom the plain meaning of the words individually, but it won’t be how most people use the term or what they think you mean when they hear it. Your sense of true love does seem like a fine thing to aim for. I would have liked this post if it were a tweet.
Other lies people believe about romantic/relationship love: that it can’t be induced or designed. that it can’t be stopped. that it is fundamentally irrational. that it is not made of atoms. that all is fair for it. that it is always good.
(I’m too lazy to type up my whole model of love right now, but as a pointer, search academic papers for the connection between limerence and OCD)
I think the concept of true love is too confused to be worth rescuing. There’s a fairytale conception of it being idyllic and perfect. There’s the romcom conception of it happening with strangers in unexpected circumstances. And there’s many many people’s personal experience of romance, which they are motivated to describe as true or not true depending on whether they want to keep the relationship or move past it.
Perhaps the definition which you give the phrase is what the meaning ought to be from the plain meaning of the words individually, but it won’t be how most people use the term or what they think you mean when they hear it. Your sense of true love does seem like a fine thing to aim for. I would have liked this post if it were a tweet.
Other lies people believe about romantic/relationship love: that it can’t be induced or designed. that it can’t be stopped. that it is fundamentally irrational. that it is not made of atoms. that all is fair for it. that it is always good.
(I’m too lazy to type up my whole model of love right now, but as a pointer, search academic papers for the connection between limerence and OCD)