Bad / insufficiently curiosed-through advice is often infuriating because the person giving it seems to be assuming you’re an idiot / have come to them as soon as you noticed the problem. Which is very rarely true! Generally, between spotting the problem and talking to another person about it, there’s a pretty fucking long solution-seeking stage. Where “pretty fucking long” can be anything between ten minutes (“i lost my pencil and can’t find it )=”) (where actually common sense suggestions MIGHT be helpful—you might not have through up all the checklist yet) and THE PERSON’S ENTIRE LIFETIME (anything relating to a disability, for example).
An advice-giver who doesn’t understand why you still have the problem is going to have a lot more advice to give, and they’re also often going to be SO patronizing and idiocy-assuming and invalidating sounding.
As opposed to the person who is at the point of “ok yeah that does sound like a problem” first, before they might move on with “hmm but what to do though” along with you.
(You might well be ahead of them anyway, but at least they’ve listened first!)
the magic part.
Bad / insufficiently curiosed-through advice is often infuriating because the person giving it seems to be assuming you’re an idiot / have come to them as soon as you noticed the problem. Which is very rarely true! Generally, between spotting the problem and talking to another person about it, there’s a pretty fucking long solution-seeking stage. Where “pretty fucking long” can be anything between ten minutes (“i lost my pencil and can’t find it )=”) (where actually common sense suggestions MIGHT be helpful—you might not have through up all the checklist yet) and THE PERSON’S ENTIRE LIFETIME (anything relating to a disability, for example).
An advice-giver who doesn’t understand why you still have the problem is going to have a lot more advice to give, and they’re also often going to be SO patronizing and idiocy-assuming and invalidating sounding.
As opposed to the person who is at the point of “ok yeah that does sound like a problem” first, before they might move on with “hmm but what to do though” along with you.
(You might well be ahead of them anyway, but at least they’ve listened first!)