For anyone like me: it’s easy to read this advice as “if you’re not curious, you’re therefore bad/doing something bad”, which might suggest attempting to brute force an emotional state of curiosity. I think that’s probably emotionally harmful.
It can be the case that:
Curiosity is very useful for being a good listener
You are not curious about (this person) in (this situation)
From there, you could:
Hide your current lack of curiosity and go through the motions as best you can. I think this is the best option quite often!
Tell them your honest feelings. Maybe you’re not very interested at the moment but are worried about them feeling not cared about, and you can tell them that. Might be a bad idea if they’re vulnerable or not trustworthy.
Investigate why you are not curious (either internally or with the other person), which might spark curiosity or suggest how else you should move the conversation.
(any other option)
I think it’s healthier to grow curiosity as a natural extension of your desires instead of shoving it in as “ah, now I have to take the curiosity action to perform this task”. I don’t think the author was suggesting the latter, I just noticed my inclination to read it that way.
For anyone like me: it’s easy to read this advice as “if you’re not curious, you’re therefore bad/doing something bad”, which might suggest attempting to brute force an emotional state of curiosity. I think that’s probably emotionally harmful.
It can be the case that:
Curiosity is very useful for being a good listener
You are not curious about (this person) in (this situation)
From there, you could:
Hide your current lack of curiosity and go through the motions as best you can. I think this is the best option quite often!
Tell them your honest feelings. Maybe you’re not very interested at the moment but are worried about them feeling not cared about, and you can tell them that. Might be a bad idea if they’re vulnerable or not trustworthy.
Investigate why you are not curious (either internally or with the other person), which might spark curiosity or suggest how else you should move the conversation.
(any other option)
I think it’s healthier to grow curiosity as a natural extension of your desires instead of shoving it in as “ah, now I have to take the curiosity action to perform this task”. I don’t think the author was suggesting the latter, I just noticed my inclination to read it that way.