Imagine replacing the polyamory with homosexuality, and imagine it is a few decades ago when homosexuality was as risque as polyamory is currently. Do you have the same reaction? If not, what is different? If so, do you condone that reaction?
There’s a historical parallel there. In the earlier 20th century the followers of GE Moore’s system of ethics were alleged to have had non-standard relationships and practiced “evangelical” homosexuality. No doubt they were right to challenge the social mores of their day but I also think it would be fair to say that their lifestyles in total signalled an impoverished ethical system (in this case one dedicated to aesthetic pleasure). Obviously you can have good and bad reasons for doing anything. I’ve seen posts on LW about “polyhacking” (ridding oneself of sexual jealousy) and intentionally opening oneself up to same-sex relationships. I take no issue with any of this except that people might be doing them for bad reasons and that if somebody is engaged in a lot of this kind of thing it can be reason to ask whether their goals got confused somewhere along the way.
if somebody is engaged in a lot of this kind of thing it can be reason to ask whether their goals got confused somewhere along the way.
Agreed.
I would also say the same thing about someone who spends a lot of time trying to conform to mainstream sexual or relationship norms.
Of course, figuring out what my society wants from me (sexually, romantically, or in any other area) and arranging my life so I provide it isn’t necessarily problematic, any more than figuring out what I enjoy (ibid) and arranging my life to provide me with more of it is. But if I’m doing either to the significant exclusion of pursuing other things I value, I’ve gotten off track.
That said, I’ve noticed lots of people tend to notice (or at least point out) that truth differentially when the derailing force is a non-mainstream activity.
Imagine replacing the polyamory with homosexuality, and imagine it is a few decades ago when homosexuality was as risque as polyamory is currently. Do you have the same reaction? If not, what is different? If so, do you condone that reaction?
There’s a historical parallel there. In the earlier 20th century the followers of GE Moore’s system of ethics were alleged to have had non-standard relationships and practiced “evangelical” homosexuality. No doubt they were right to challenge the social mores of their day but I also think it would be fair to say that their lifestyles in total signalled an impoverished ethical system (in this case one dedicated to aesthetic pleasure). Obviously you can have good and bad reasons for doing anything. I’ve seen posts on LW about “polyhacking” (ridding oneself of sexual jealousy) and intentionally opening oneself up to same-sex relationships. I take no issue with any of this except that people might be doing them for bad reasons and that if somebody is engaged in a lot of this kind of thing it can be reason to ask whether their goals got confused somewhere along the way.
Agreed.
I would also say the same thing about someone who spends a lot of time trying to conform to mainstream sexual or relationship norms.
Of course, figuring out what my society wants from me (sexually, romantically, or in any other area) and arranging my life so I provide it isn’t necessarily problematic, any more than figuring out what I enjoy (ibid) and arranging my life to provide me with more of it is. But if I’m doing either to the significant exclusion of pursuing other things I value, I’ve gotten off track.
That said, I’ve noticed lots of people tend to notice (or at least point out) that truth differentially when the derailing force is a non-mainstream activity.