I’m noticing a lot of comments about the use of online dating websites. How are we using the word “dating” in this thread? Is it being used to mean “engaging in a systematic filtration of persons in search of a plausible recurrent event/romance/date partner”? I always used it to mean the practice in which you engage once you have found such a suitable partner. Just meeting people is not “dating” to me, and looking through pictures of people online is certainly not dating, as that seems to configure “dating” as unilateral which is out of keeping with the traditional use of the term. To me, dating is what happens when I have already met a person and we are seeing eachother regularly with a mutual understanding that we have mutual romantic interest and that these meetings are for our romantic emotional pleasure.
I didn’t know that other people thought they were bad at dating, either. What is there to be bad at? You pick people you wind up not liking, over and over, or something? That doesn’t seem to happen with friendships… Or is it that people select on the basis of liking people’s personalities, but then they expect that person to function as a business/life partner with character virtues that make them competent and easy to work with, even though that was not what was selected for?
I do not understand why people using dating apps. It is very hard to gauge chemistry, which has a strong physical mannerisms component, through a profile. There is also something dissuading to me about the very fact of someone having a dating profile. It would make me feel like they just wanted something, anything, and I didn’t flunk the criteria so I was good enough. I want to date someone who met me and despite having not been on the hunt for a partner, became personally interested in me and I them, on our own merits.
I’m noticing a lot of comments about the use of online dating websites. How are we using the word “dating” in this thread? Is it being used to mean “engaging in a systematic filtration of persons in search of a plausible recurrent event/romance/date partner”? I always used it to mean the practice in which you engage once you have found such a suitable partner. Just meeting people is not “dating” to me, and looking through pictures of people online is certainly not dating, as that seems to configure “dating” as unilateral which is out of keeping with the traditional use of the term. To me, dating is what happens when I have already met a person and we are seeing eachother regularly with a mutual understanding that we have mutual romantic interest and that these meetings are for our romantic emotional pleasure.
I didn’t know that other people thought they were bad at dating, either. What is there to be bad at? You pick people you wind up not liking, over and over, or something? That doesn’t seem to happen with friendships… Or is it that people select on the basis of liking people’s personalities, but then they expect that person to function as a business/life partner with character virtues that make them competent and easy to work with, even though that was not what was selected for?
I do not understand why people using dating apps. It is very hard to gauge chemistry, which has a strong physical mannerisms component, through a profile. There is also something dissuading to me about the very fact of someone having a dating profile. It would make me feel like they just wanted something, anything, and I didn’t flunk the criteria so I was good enough. I want to date someone who met me and despite having not been on the hunt for a partner, became personally interested in me and I them, on our own merits.