If a question merits an answer, ask it twice. The first time, to screen for the people capable of generating an answer, the second time, to adjust the query.
I was already doing something like this, more more or less. But I think I should do it in a more formalized way than before. Here “capable” includes “able to get over it after thinking it over”, and it’s a commitment to drop a topic the other person finds painful… but take it up again with someone else, too.
I am not sure I can be consistent about it. But at least I might notice when I am not, and tell people outright “I acknowledge it’s important, but you should ask N instead” without feeling too much guilt for not meeting their expectations.
If a question merits an answer, ask it twice. The first time, to screen for the people capable of generating an answer, the second time, to adjust the query.
I was already doing something like this, more more or less. But I think I should do it in a more formalized way than before. Here “capable” includes “able to get over it after thinking it over”, and it’s a commitment to drop a topic the other person finds painful… but take it up again with someone else, too.
I am not sure I can be consistent about it. But at least I might notice when I am not, and tell people outright “I acknowledge it’s important, but you should ask N instead” without feeling too much guilt for not meeting their expectations.