Don’t ask people for their motives if you are only asking so that you can shit on their motives. Normally when I see someone asking someone else, “Why did you do that?” I interpret the statement to come from a place of, “I’m already about to start making negative judgments about you, this is the last chance for you to offer a plausible excuse for your behavior before I start firing.”
If this is in fact the dynamic, then no one is incentivised to give you their actual reasons for things.
Yeah, a was speaking and (slightly) thinking about people with the pure motive to harm, which wouldn’t be a typical case of this. Refrase with, “Don’t blah blah blah if you will end up making explicit negative judgments at them,” and you have a better version of my thought.
Don’t ask people for their motives if you are only asking so that you can shit on their motives. Normally when I see someone asking someone else, “Why did you do that?” I interpret the statement to come from a place of, “I’m already about to start making negative judgments about you, this is the last chance for you to offer a plausible excuse for your behavior before I start firing.”
If this is in fact the dynamic, then no one is incentivised to give you their actual reasons for things.
I have been looking at intentions and trying to act with intentions in mind.
No one ever has ill intentions, they can have a “make the sale at your detriment” intention. But no one ever has a “worse off for everyone” intention.
I like that phrasing.
Yeah, a was speaking and (slightly) thinking about people with the pure motive to harm, which wouldn’t be a typical case of this. Refrase with, “Don’t blah blah blah if you will end up making explicit negative judgments at them,” and you have a better version of my thought.