“Should”s only make sense in a realm where you are divorced form yourself. Where you are bargaining with some other being that controls your body, and you are threatening it.
Update: This past week I’ve had an unusual amount of spontaneous introspective awareness on moments when I was feeling pulled my a should, especially one that came from comparing myself from others. I’ve also been meeting these thoughts with an, “Oh interesting. I wonder why this made me feel a should?” as opposed to a standard “endorse or disavow” response.
Meta Thoughts: What do I know about “should”s that I didn’t know in March 2018?
I’m more aware of how incredibly pervasive “should”s are in my thinking. Last saturday alone I counted over 30 moments of feeling the negative tug of some “should”.
I know see that even for things I consider cool, dope, and virtuous, I’ve been using “you should do this or else” to get myself to do them.
Since CFAR last fall I’ve gained a lot of metis on aligning myself, a task that I’ve previously trivialized or brought in “willpower” to conquer. Last year I was more inclined to go, “Well okay fine, I’m still saying I should do XYZ, but the part of me that is resisting that is actuallyjust stupid and deserves to be coerced.”
Me circa March 2018
Update: This past week I’ve had an unusual amount of spontaneous introspective awareness on moments when I was feeling pulled my a should, especially one that came from comparing myself from others. I’ve also been meeting these thoughts with an, “Oh interesting. I wonder why this made me feel a should?” as opposed to a standard “endorse or disavow” response.
Meta Thoughts: What do I know about “should”s that I didn’t know in March 2018?
I’m more aware of how incredibly pervasive “should”s are in my thinking. Last saturday alone I counted over 30 moments of feeling the negative tug of some “should”.
I know see that even for things I consider cool, dope, and virtuous, I’ve been using “you should do this or else” to get myself to do them.
Since CFAR last fall I’ve gained a lot of metis on aligning myself, a task that I’ve previously trivialized or brought in “willpower” to conquer. Last year I was more inclined to go, “Well okay fine, I’m still saying I should do XYZ, but the part of me that is resisting that is actually just stupid and deserves to be coerced.”