Maybe emotional resilience is bad for some forms of signaling. The more you react emotionally, the stronger you signal that you care about something. Keeping calm despite feeling strong emotions can be misinterpreted by others as not caring.
Misunderstandings created this way could possibly cause enough harm to outweigh the benefits of emotional resilience. Or perhaps the balance depends on some circumstances, e.g. if you are physically strong, people will be naturally afraid to hurt you, so then it is okay to develop emotional resilience about physical pain, because it won’t result in them hurting you more simply because “you don’t mind it anyway”.
Keeping calm despite feeling strong emotions can be misinterpreted by others as not caring.
To some extent, the interpretation is arguably correct; if you personally suffer from something not working out, then you have a much greater incentive to actually ensure that it does work out. If a situation going bad would cause you so much pain that you can’t just walk out from it, then there’s a sense in which it’s correct to say that you do care more than if you could just choose to give up whenever.
Maybe emotional resilience is bad for some forms of signaling. The more you react emotionally, the stronger you signal that you care about something. Keeping calm despite feeling strong emotions can be misinterpreted by others as not caring.
Misunderstandings created this way could possibly cause enough harm to outweigh the benefits of emotional resilience. Or perhaps the balance depends on some circumstances, e.g. if you are physically strong, people will be naturally afraid to hurt you, so then it is okay to develop emotional resilience about physical pain, because it won’t result in them hurting you more simply because “you don’t mind it anyway”.
That problem should be addressed by better mastery over one’s presentation, not by relinquishing mastery over one’s emotions.
To some extent, the interpretation is arguably correct; if you personally suffer from something not working out, then you have a much greater incentive to actually ensure that it does work out. If a situation going bad would cause you so much pain that you can’t just walk out from it, then there’s a sense in which it’s correct to say that you do care more than if you could just choose to give up whenever.