“Keep your identity small” by Paul Graham $$\cong$$ “People get stupid/unreasonable about an issue when it becomes part of their identity. Don’t put things into your identity.”
“Do Something vs Be Someone” John Boyd distinction.
I’m going to think about this in terms of “What is one’s main strategy to meet XYZ needs?” I claim that “This person got unreasonable because their identity was under attack” is more a situation of “This person is panicing at the possibility that their main strategy to meet XYZ need will fail.”
Me growing up: I made effort to not specifically “identify” with any group or ideal. Also, my main strategy for meeting social needs was “Be so casually impressive that everyone wants to be my friend.” I can’t remember an instance of this, but I bet I would have looked like “My identity was under attack” if someone starting saying something that undermined that strategy of mine. Being called boring probably would have been terrifying.
“Keep your identity small” is not actionable advice. The target should be more “Build multi-faceted confidence in yourself overtime, thus allowing you to never feel like one strategy failing is your doom.”
Another way identity is a slightly unhelpful frame: If you claim identities are passive, inactive, “being” things, you are ignoring identities like, “I’m part of this sub culture that actually DOES stuff” or “I am decisive and get things done quickly”. Some identities can involve more vacuous signalling than others.
Also, something about identity as a blue print “I’ll try to be like this type of person, because they seem to succeed” that is very lossy and prone to Goodharting. Seems similar to the difference between asking “Is it rational to believe the sky is blue?” vs “Is the sky blue?”
Yesterday I read the first 5 articles on google for “why arguments are useless”. It seems pretty in the zeitgeist that “when people have their identity challenged you can’t argue with them. A few of them stopped there and basically declared communication to be impossible if identity is involved, a few of them sequitously hinted at learning to listen and find common ground. A reason I want to get this post out is to add to the “Here’s why identity doesn’t have to be a stop sign.”
Sketch of a post I’m writing:
“Keep your identity small” by Paul Graham $$\cong$$ “People get stupid/unreasonable about an issue when it becomes part of their identity. Don’t put things into your identity.”
“Do Something vs Be Someone” John Boyd distinction.
I’m going to think about this in terms of “What is one’s main strategy to meet XYZ needs?” I claim that “This person got unreasonable because their identity was under attack” is more a situation of “This person is panicing at the possibility that their main strategy to meet XYZ need will fail.”
Me growing up: I made effort to not specifically “identify” with any group or ideal. Also, my main strategy for meeting social needs was “Be so casually impressive that everyone wants to be my friend.” I can’t remember an instance of this, but I bet I would have looked like “My identity was under attack” if someone starting saying something that undermined that strategy of mine. Being called boring probably would have been terrifying.
“Keep your identity small” is not actionable advice. The target should be more “Build multi-faceted confidence in yourself overtime, thus allowing you to never feel like one strategy failing is your doom.”
Another way identity is a slightly unhelpful frame: If you claim identities are passive, inactive, “being” things, you are ignoring identities like, “I’m part of this sub culture that actually DOES stuff” or “I am decisive and get things done quickly”. Some identities can involve more vacuous signalling than others.
Also, something about identity as a blue print “I’ll try to be like this type of person, because they seem to succeed” that is very lossy and prone to Goodharting. Seems similar to the difference between asking “Is it rational to believe the sky is blue?” vs “Is the sky blue?”
Yesterday I read the first 5 articles on google for “why arguments are useless”. It seems pretty in the zeitgeist that “when people have their identity challenged you can’t argue with them. A few of them stopped there and basically declared communication to be impossible if identity is involved, a few of them sequitously hinted at learning to listen and find common ground. A reason I want to get this post out is to add to the “Here’s why identity doesn’t have to be a stop sign.”