Something as simple as talking too loud can completely screw you over socially. There’s a guy in one of my classes who talks at almost a shouting level when he asks questions, and I can feel the rest of the class tense up. I’d guess he’s unaware of it, and this is likely a way he’s been for many years which has subtlety/not so subtlety pushed people away from him.
Would it be a good idea to tell him that a lot of people don’t like him because he’s loud? Could I package that message such that it’s clear I’m just trying to give him useful info, as opposed to trying to insult him?
This seems like the sort of problem where most of the time, no one will bring it up to him, unless they reach a “breaking point” in which case they’d tell him he’s too loud via a social attack. It seems like there might be a general solution to this sort of conundrum.
Something as simple as talking too loud can completely screw you over socially. There’s a guy in one of my classes who talks at almost a shouting level when he asks questions, and I can feel the rest of the class tense up. I’d guess he’s unaware of it, and this is likely a way he’s been for many years which has subtlety/not so subtlety pushed people away from him.
Would it be a good idea to tell him that a lot of people don’t like him because he’s loud? Could I package that message such that it’s clear I’m just trying to give him useful info, as opposed to trying to insult him?
This seems like the sort of problem where most of the time, no one will bring it up to him, unless they reach a “breaking point” in which case they’d tell him he’s too loud via a social attack. It seems like there might be a general solution to this sort of conundrum.