I feel like one of the people you’re writing this for. 25. 900k NW yet still working a boring programming job for one of the top tech companies that I don’t care about. Last time I seriously tried at Tinder I had 5 dates planned in the first weekend and 112 matches in the first week yet I’m spending my time with a casual partner I’m lukewarm about. Every time I start a side project I go two days and then think “eh, I bet nobody will care about it” and stop. Besides the job the only reason to stay where I am is I like the swing dancing scene here but that’s closed with covid and I don’t like much else about here. In my hobbies I’ll get bored right before I’m impressive. Leaving just before world finals in ICPC. Switching to be more casual about my lifting a few pounds short of a state record.
I don’t need to start making Kelly Bets, I just need to start making bets period. I don’t know what it would take for me to start doing that. I have a friend who makes big bets and I look up to him but I don’t copy him. I think a big part is I just don’t really trust there to be payoff. I don’t feel like I’ll be much happier. I don’t expect any of my side project ideas will be that useful to people. Or maybe that’s just an excuse. I mostly feel blankness when I try and think of the tradeoffs so maybe there’s some emotional block about my inability to take risks? I’m not even sure where it would come from. Most of my problems I have an obvious source of trauma to blame it on but not here.
I think a big part is I just don’t really trust there to be payoff.
I’m curious how you/your System I responds to high-risk/high-reward ideas. Startups are what come to my mind first: eg. startup ideas that maybe you think are unlikely to succeed, but would be billion dollar companies if successful.
I just don’t feel anything. I do have a certain logical appreciation that if I made a billion dollar company it would be impressive, I’d probably improve people’s lives with it, and I could buy more stuff (mostly donate I guess? I don’t have much else I need...) but I don’t feel anything. Those are the words I feel flowing through my head but I don’t feel any of the wordless feelings that make up my system 1.
Hell, I don’t even feel anything thinking about the pleasure I’d get from getting a peach from my kitchen and there’s a 95% chance the peach is good and ripe today. I just do it because I know I’ll have good feels once I actually have the peach. Which is enough to make me do something low effort like get a peach but not start a company.
Edit: If anyone was curious, the peach was indeed delicious
I am not an expert, but this sounds to me like depression. Maybe there is a pill for that?
Or maybe peer pressure if you could find the right group of peers which would push you in the direction you want to go anyway. (I wonder if you could rent such group. Maybe this is a business opportunity.)
I feel like one of the people you’re writing this for. 25. 900k NW yet still working a boring programming job for one of the top tech companies that I don’t care about. Last time I seriously tried at Tinder I had 5 dates planned in the first weekend and 112 matches in the first week yet I’m spending my time with a casual partner I’m lukewarm about. Every time I start a side project I go two days and then think “eh, I bet nobody will care about it” and stop. Besides the job the only reason to stay where I am is I like the swing dancing scene here but that’s closed with covid and I don’t like much else about here. In my hobbies I’ll get bored right before I’m impressive. Leaving just before world finals in ICPC. Switching to be more casual about my lifting a few pounds short of a state record.
I don’t need to start making Kelly Bets, I just need to start making bets period. I don’t know what it would take for me to start doing that. I have a friend who makes big bets and I look up to him but I don’t copy him. I think a big part is I just don’t really trust there to be payoff. I don’t feel like I’ll be much happier. I don’t expect any of my side project ideas will be that useful to people. Or maybe that’s just an excuse. I mostly feel blankness when I try and think of the tradeoffs so maybe there’s some emotional block about my inability to take risks? I’m not even sure where it would come from. Most of my problems I have an obvious source of trauma to blame it on but not here.
This might not be for you, but I found http://mindingourway.com/ to be very helpful in terms of finding motivation.
The other main thing I’d target would be to spend time around people who make you feel excited about stuff. Don’t try to do it alone.
I’m curious how you/your System I responds to high-risk/high-reward ideas. Startups are what come to my mind first: eg. startup ideas that maybe you think are unlikely to succeed, but would be billion dollar companies if successful.
I just don’t feel anything. I do have a certain logical appreciation that if I made a billion dollar company it would be impressive, I’d probably improve people’s lives with it, and I could buy more stuff (mostly donate I guess? I don’t have much else I need...) but I don’t feel anything. Those are the words I feel flowing through my head but I don’t feel any of the wordless feelings that make up my system 1.
Hell, I don’t even feel anything thinking about the pleasure I’d get from getting a peach from my kitchen and there’s a 95% chance the peach is good and ripe today. I just do it because I know I’ll have good feels once I actually have the peach. Which is enough to make me do something low effort like get a peach but not start a company.
Edit: If anyone was curious, the peach was indeed delicious
I am not an expert, but this sounds to me like depression. Maybe there is a pill for that?
Or maybe peer pressure if you could find the right group of peers which would push you in the direction you want to go anyway. (I wonder if you could rent such group. Maybe this is a business opportunity.)
Ah, I see.