The one thing I will say now is that it would completely wreck almost every aspect of my life. I have everything invested in this.
Wow. Then it’s not at all surprising you feel this way. You’ve left out a lot of details of your life, so I can’t really comment on specifics (though please feel free to share them if you’re ever ready to do so here). But given that, it’s going to be almost impossible for you to change that belief.
I’m very confident that a detailed, unbiased examination of your theistic beliefs would reveal that there’s no evidence for them and you hold them for social reasons. Do you agree? That being the case, you may not want to try to engage in this kind of examination right now. It sounds like you need time to think about what you really want in your life, and what kind of life you want to lead, independent of your beliefs about theism. Do you want to uproot your life right now?
I agree that humanity needs to do this sometime, and I agree that MrHen needs to do this sometime.
I don’t know enough about MrHen’s situation to know whether it’s in his best interest to suddenly uproot himself from every aspect of his life right now, or whether there are ways of creating support networks and easing the transition that would help him. I’m not saying he should hide from the truth; I’m saying he may need to lay the groundwork for finding the truth first.
AFAIK these things just get more difficult the longer you put them off. This is the usual rule, and it’s also the usual rule that people are heavily motivated on a cognitive level to find excuses to let things slide. Someone wrote about this very eloquently—I’m not sure who, possibly Tim Ferris or Robert Greene—with the notion that “hoping” things will get better isn’t really hope so much as a form of passivity, motivated more by fear of action and change than any positive hope. Any delay of this sort should have a definite deadline attached to it.
I’ve found a definite (and not necessarily complete) list of steps to be useful in the absence of a deadline, and I think that’s what Blueberry was getting at: MrHen might be best served by adding things to his to-do list that answer the question “what things do I need to do to get my personal life arranged in such a way that I would be able to be ‘out’ as an atheist without major repercussions?”
Wow. Then it’s not at all surprising you feel this way. You’ve left out a lot of details of your life, so I can’t really comment on specifics (though please feel free to share them if you’re ever ready to do so here). But given that, it’s going to be almost impossible for you to change that belief.
I’m very confident that a detailed, unbiased examination of your theistic beliefs would reveal that there’s no evidence for them and you hold them for social reasons. Do you agree? That being the case, you may not want to try to engage in this kind of examination right now. It sounds like you need time to think about what you really want in your life, and what kind of life you want to lead, independent of your beliefs about theism. Do you want to uproot your life right now?
Blueberry, the human species has got to do this sometime. Please don’t get in the way.
I agree that humanity needs to do this sometime, and I agree that MrHen needs to do this sometime.
I don’t know enough about MrHen’s situation to know whether it’s in his best interest to suddenly uproot himself from every aspect of his life right now, or whether there are ways of creating support networks and easing the transition that would help him. I’m not saying he should hide from the truth; I’m saying he may need to lay the groundwork for finding the truth first.
AFAIK these things just get more difficult the longer you put them off. This is the usual rule, and it’s also the usual rule that people are heavily motivated on a cognitive level to find excuses to let things slide. Someone wrote about this very eloquently—I’m not sure who, possibly Tim Ferris or Robert Greene—with the notion that “hoping” things will get better isn’t really hope so much as a form of passivity, motivated more by fear of action and change than any positive hope. Any delay of this sort should have a definite deadline attached to it.
I’ve found a definite (and not necessarily complete) list of steps to be useful in the absence of a deadline, and I think that’s what Blueberry was getting at: MrHen might be best served by adding things to his to-do list that answer the question “what things do I need to do to get my personal life arranged in such a way that I would be able to be ‘out’ as an atheist without major repercussions?”
Can I have that list? Can you talk to the 12 years old AdeleneDawner if she still has it?