One last bit is to keep in mind that most (or, many things), can be power moves.
There’s one failure mode, where a person sort of gives you the creeps, and you try to bring this up and people say “well, did they do anything explicitly wrong?” and you’re like “no, I guess?” and then it turns out you were picking up something important about the person-giving-you-the-creeps and it would have been good if people had paid some attention to your intuition.
There’s a different failure mode where “so and so gives me the creeps” is something you can say willy-nilly without ever having to back it up, and it ends up being it’s own power move.
I do think during politically charged conversations it’s good to be able to notice and draw attention to the power-move-ness of various frames (in both/all directions)
(i.e. in the “so and so gives me the creeps” situation, it’s good to note both that you can abuse “only admit explicit evidence” and “wanton claims of creepiness” in different ways. And then, having made the frame of power-move-ness explicit, talk about ways to potentially alleviate both forms of abuse)
One last bit is to keep in mind that most (or, many things), can be power moves.
There’s one failure mode, where a person sort of gives you the creeps, and you try to bring this up and people say “well, did they do anything explicitly wrong?” and you’re like “no, I guess?” and then it turns out you were picking up something important about the person-giving-you-the-creeps and it would have been good if people had paid some attention to your intuition.
There’s a different failure mode where “so and so gives me the creeps” is something you can say willy-nilly without ever having to back it up, and it ends up being it’s own power move.
I do think during politically charged conversations it’s good to be able to notice and draw attention to the power-move-ness of various frames (in both/all directions)
(i.e. in the “so and so gives me the creeps” situation, it’s good to note both that you can abuse “only admit explicit evidence” and “wanton claims of creepiness” in different ways. And then, having made the frame of power-move-ness explicit, talk about ways to potentially alleviate both forms of abuse)