Have you read Byrnes on how we should expect certain emotional reactions to seemingly prohibitively complex stimuli, to be basically hardcoded?
I think I have learned a certain amount of my eye-contact-aversion, but I also suspect it is hardcodedly unusually difficult for me. When I was younger, my parents and teachers constantly harangued me to “get better at eye contact”, and I really tried [I hated their haranguing!] but the eye contact itself was just too emotionally painful.
When I first went on Ritalin in November of 2020, I immediately noticed that it became much more possible to voluntarily choose to sustain eye contact with most people for ~3-10-second periods; I was excited and thought maybe I could make the whole aversion go away. But that didn’t work either. It stayed effortful, although easier.
I still don’t make much eye contact, and at this point in my life nobody ever remarks on it, and it causes no problem at all. I regularly meet people who are worse at it than I am, and some of them seem to have less of a general social handicap than I do!
Have you read Byrnes on how we should expect certain emotional reactions to seemingly prohibitively complex stimuli, to be basically hardcoded?
I think I have learned a certain amount of my eye-contact-aversion, but I also suspect it is hardcodedly unusually difficult for me. When I was younger, my parents and teachers constantly harangued me to “get better at eye contact”, and I really tried [I hated their haranguing!] but the eye contact itself was just too emotionally painful.
When I first went on Ritalin in November of 2020, I immediately noticed that it became much more possible to voluntarily choose to sustain eye contact with most people for ~3-10-second periods; I was excited and thought maybe I could make the whole aversion go away. But that didn’t work either. It stayed effortful, although easier.
I still don’t make much eye contact, and at this point in my life nobody ever remarks on it, and it causes no problem at all. I regularly meet people who are worse at it than I am, and some of them seem to have less of a general social handicap than I do!