I’ll agree with Nornagest on the insult to injury part, but there’s also a second part:
If you talk about someone’s failings after they die, but not before, then you seem to have been waiting until they were no longer available to defend themselves.
IOW: it seems cowardly, and dishonest. Because if they were still around, they might be able to dismiss your allegations.
That should help, but I’m not certain how much. The problem is that whatever the reason for the rule originally, it’s now ingrained as a moral absolute in some people’s minds.
It’s a tradition, like being nice to people on Christmas. There’s no reason for Christmas in particular to be a day on which you’re extra nice. But people aren’t nice enough in general, so the tradition is a step in the right direction; I’m not going to criticize it.
Normals have a problem there. When a death is fresh and on everyone’s minds, you’re supposed to be nice rather than care about facts, truth and accuracy. But by the time you’re allowed to care about those things, nobody is paying attention any more.
It is an anachronism from prehistory when the dead were presumed spirits, capable of hearing you speaking ill of them, and retaining power to injure you. The motivation is primal fear.
Why?
I’ll agree with Nornagest on the insult to injury part, but there’s also a second part:
If you talk about someone’s failings after they die, but not before, then you seem to have been waiting until they were no longer available to defend themselves.
IOW: it seems cowardly, and dishonest. Because if they were still around, they might be able to dismiss your allegations.
Can I mitigate people’s negative feelings by mostly offering cites of old criticisms?
That should help, but I’m not certain how much. The problem is that whatever the reason for the rule originally, it’s now ingrained as a moral absolute in some people’s minds.
It’s a tradition, like being nice to people on Christmas. There’s no reason for Christmas in particular to be a day on which you’re extra nice. But people aren’t nice enough in general, so the tradition is a step in the right direction; I’m not going to criticize it.
Because it feels like adding insult to injury for those grieving, I’d imagine.
I wonder how the liver donor’s family feels.
Dunno; ask the normals. But I’ve read it so many times that they must have some such attitude.
Normals have a problem there. When a death is fresh and on everyone’s minds, you’re supposed to be nice rather than care about facts, truth and accuracy. But by the time you’re allowed to care about those things, nobody is paying attention any more.
It is an anachronism from prehistory when the dead were presumed spirits, capable of hearing you speaking ill of them, and retaining power to injure you. The motivation is primal fear.