Why are you putting child abuse in quotations? And hit? And how could I have anticipated your arrival in this thread, let alone your disapproval of my references?
When you take terms with vile connotations, like rape, murder, child abuse, and racism, and expand them beyond their conventional definition, people use scare quotes around them because they want to make it perfectly clear that they are unwilling to give your use of the term the really, really bad connotations that their use of the term carries. I’m willing to bet that’s basically what’s happening here: what you call “child abuse” is not actually bad enough in his mind to merit being called “child abuse.”
I’m willing to bet that’s basically what’s happening here: what you call “child abuse” is not actually bad enough in his mind to merit being called “child abuse.”
Sorry. Anyway, “child abuse” is in quotes because I don’t think “honest, justifiable actions that nevertheless cause harm” should count as abuse. To quote from what I linked to:
In order for something to count as “child abuse”, the person who performs the action must betray either an intention to harm or a callous disregard for the possibility of harm to the welfare of the child. Even negligence (a form of child abuse) is understood in this way – as the absence of a level of concern for a child’s welfare that would have motivated caution in a concerned individual.
...
Women who took thalidomide while pregnant did significant harm to their children. Yet, this was not sufficient to charge them with “child abuse”. This is because the behavior was motivated by a mistake, not by an absence of concern (or a desire to harm) the child. Calling thalidomide users “child abusers” for actions taken before the harmfulness of thalidomide was known is grossly inappropriate.
Anyway, I don’t think that the infrequent corporal punishment my father inflicted on me was, in the long run, particularly harmful (apart from the moments of pain I endured). It was also effective.
I won’t defend my overall upbringing as “not harmful”, though; the special education school I ended up attending for many years was an awful place, and I learned very little there. The fault lies more with the school system than with my parents, though.
I don’t think that the infrequent corporal punishment my father inflicted on me was, in the long run, particularly harmful (apart from the moments of pain I endured). It was also effective.
Well 62 years of research show that corporal punishment doesn’t work and that your father was an evil man. But because we have people who personally believe that it worked on them, the physical abuse of children is still legal in all 50 states of this modern nation.
If I may ask, what exactly do you think that it was “effective” at doing?
The fault lies more with the school system than with my parents, though.
If I may ask, what exactly do you think that it was “effective” at doing?
It was effective at getting me to stop hitting my father. (I hit him far less than I hit anyone else.) I’m not claiming anything more than that.
To quote one of your links:
The single desirable association was between corporal punishment and increased immediate compliance on the part of the child.
Seriously, though, if a 7-year-old attacks you in a furious rage, punching, kicking, and screaming, and continues to keep it up for hours at a time, what do you do?
Yeah because, hey, you love your parents.
I don’t know if I actually do love them, but I do respect them. Or, at least, I respect them now that I’ve grown up.
I’m not saying they’re blameless (good luck finding a single blameless individual anywhere over the age of one year) but, well, whatever you’ve heard about soul-destroying schooling, I had to live it. After not fitting in during elementary school (I threw a crayon at the principal once) I eventually wound up in special education. There were basically two kinds of children in the special education school I went to from third to seventh grade: those that were retards, and those that were evil. Guess which group I ended up hanging out with? My best friend was basically a young Hannibal Lecter. Once, we tried to kill our teacher with what we thought was a bomb.
To be frank, the only shot I would have had at a decent educational experience would have been if my mother decided to homeschool me. This was way before homeschooling became acceptable, and as the school system seemed bound and determined to find a way to blame my parents for the way I acted (which you can probably blame on my being born with a non-standard brain) to the point where it was like they ought to be bringing a lawyer with them to every meeting with school officials, they really didn’t want to do anything weird.
Why are you putting child abuse in quotations? And hit? And how could I have anticipated your arrival in this thread, let alone your disapproval of my references?
When you take terms with vile connotations, like rape, murder, child abuse, and racism, and expand them beyond their conventional definition, people use scare quotes around them because they want to make it perfectly clear that they are unwilling to give your use of the term the really, really bad connotations that their use of the term carries. I’m willing to bet that’s basically what’s happening here: what you call “child abuse” is not actually bad enough in his mind to merit being called “child abuse.”
Indeed.
Well, this is a thread on things people are not supposed to believe, isn’t it?
Also, for why child abuse is in scare quotes, see this.
I still don’t understand, but alright… I’m thinking either you’re somewhat deranged, or that I’ve been the victim of a gag of some sort.
Sorry. Anyway, “child abuse” is in quotes because I don’t think “honest, justifiable actions that nevertheless cause harm” should count as abuse. To quote from what I linked to:
...
Anyway, I don’t think that the infrequent corporal punishment my father inflicted on me was, in the long run, particularly harmful (apart from the moments of pain I endured). It was also effective.
I won’t defend my overall upbringing as “not harmful”, though; the special education school I ended up attending for many years was an awful place, and I learned very little there. The fault lies more with the school system than with my parents, though.
Well 62 years of research show that corporal punishment doesn’t work and that your father was an evil man. But because we have people who personally believe that it worked on them, the physical abuse of children is still legal in all 50 states of this modern nation.
If I may ask, what exactly do you think that it was “effective” at doing?
Yeah because, hey, you love your parents.
It was effective at getting me to stop hitting my father. (I hit him far less than I hit anyone else.) I’m not claiming anything more than that.
To quote one of your links:
Seriously, though, if a 7-year-old attacks you in a furious rage, punching, kicking, and screaming, and continues to keep it up for hours at a time, what do you do?
I don’t know if I actually do love them, but I do respect them. Or, at least, I respect them now that I’ve grown up.
I’m not saying they’re blameless (good luck finding a single blameless individual anywhere over the age of one year) but, well, whatever you’ve heard about soul-destroying schooling, I had to live it. After not fitting in during elementary school (I threw a crayon at the principal once) I eventually wound up in special education. There were basically two kinds of children in the special education school I went to from third to seventh grade: those that were retards, and those that were evil. Guess which group I ended up hanging out with? My best friend was basically a young Hannibal Lecter. Once, we tried to kill our teacher with what we thought was a bomb.
To be frank, the only shot I would have had at a decent educational experience would have been if my mother decided to homeschool me. This was way before homeschooling became acceptable, and as the school system seemed bound and determined to find a way to blame my parents for the way I acted (which you can probably blame on my being born with a non-standard brain) to the point where it was like they ought to be bringing a lawyer with them to every meeting with school officials, they really didn’t want to do anything weird.
Additionally, you might want to look into this.