Success in avoiding anger means zero anger. This is rarely successful. Minimizing the duration of anger means being angry but for limited amounts of time. This is often successful. This is a Bayesian choice: a strategy that is 100% successful but only rarely is less appealing that a strategy that is generally successful (and creates positive loops) most of the time.
To stop a river you have to stop it along the entire length, from where you are to where it started, and you have to keep out all new sources of water, and you have to drain it. That is 100% success and happens rarely. To redirect a river is to give it a new place to go, perhaps even generating energy so that you can further manipulate it. I compare this with unwanted emotions. You can try to make them stop, never happen, build a social setting where they won’t happen, and experience 100% success rarely. Or you can know that unwanted feelings will happen and try to put them to good use, or laugh at yourself, or learn something, or teach something—to let it exist but redirect it. This will succeed well and often.
When unwanted feeling happen for me I let them have their time then I redirect them. I feel angry, then I put that nger to use. Maybe to mend the situation, maybe to get some house cleaning done. When I used to try and not be angry at all I was angry longer and got less done.
Isn’t that the same as avoiding it?
I don’t understand this metaphor. Can you be more explicit?
Success in avoiding anger means zero anger. This is rarely successful. Minimizing the duration of anger means being angry but for limited amounts of time. This is often successful. This is a Bayesian choice: a strategy that is 100% successful but only rarely is less appealing that a strategy that is generally successful (and creates positive loops) most of the time.
To stop a river you have to stop it along the entire length, from where you are to where it started, and you have to keep out all new sources of water, and you have to drain it. That is 100% success and happens rarely. To redirect a river is to give it a new place to go, perhaps even generating energy so that you can further manipulate it. I compare this with unwanted emotions. You can try to make them stop, never happen, build a social setting where they won’t happen, and experience 100% success rarely. Or you can know that unwanted feelings will happen and try to put them to good use, or laugh at yourself, or learn something, or teach something—to let it exist but redirect it. This will succeed well and often.
When unwanted feeling happen for me I let them have their time then I redirect them. I feel angry, then I put that nger to use. Maybe to mend the situation, maybe to get some house cleaning done. When I used to try and not be angry at all I was angry longer and got less done.
Thank you for asking and letting me clarify.
Upvoted in general, but especially for the last sentence.
I see. I thought you meant stop reading whatever it is quickly (which is the same as avoiding whatever it is).