Worse, there’s a part of me that feels that fear is keeping me safe.
I had something similar. I’ve always looked for what could go wrong. I just naturally see inconsistencies. It seems like a good idea—if you look for what can go wrong, you’re in a position to prevent it. But if you take the availability bias into account, the obsessing over what can go wrong leads to a distorted view of the world that expects more bad things to happens and acts accordingly. I spent effort avoiding and fretting over low probability negative events, while I let higher value opportunities pass me by.
One thing I’ve found—the bad things aren’t the end of the world. Unfortunately, in my fretting and not applying for jobs (hint hint), I screwed myself financially. Guess what? The world kept turning. Movies are still sometimes funny. Root beer floats are still tasty. And eventually I got a job and just recently started buying myself a number of toys I’ve wanted for a while.
Here’s what you might try. Picture the bad thing happening. Ok, it’s happened. What now? Does the sun explode? Clippy turns you into a paper clip? I bet you’ll get a new goal and move on. Thje world will keep turning. And if you’re anything like me, you’ll find the misery of fretting over some negative event was about a zillion times more unpleasant than the event itself, and failed to prevent it anyway. So knock it off. It’s not helping. It’s making everything worse.
Intractable problems occur when what you do to fix the problem makes it worse. Whenever you hear the catastrophizing voice in you head, say “Hello crazy person. Yes, that’s all very interesting, but you’re not helping. I prefer to go to my doom blithely whistling a tune. Now piss off.”
Also, intractable problems occur when you refuse to consider too many options. Try to at least see all your options, instead of immediately eliminating ones you don’t like. See them all, even ones you don’t like. They may not be the ideal, but some of them may be possible, and better than the other alternatives.
Another thing to try. Go to a job interview intending to fail. If you don’t want to go out into the world, you can always turn the job down later. You’re completely safe from having to work if you don’t want to. But it might be convenient to have the option, eh?
Last interview I had, I was already wrapping up another offer, and just went because I had already made the appointment, and thought the connection might come in handy later. I even got a bump in offered pay because the recruiter thought I was hesitant because I wanted more money. At the interview, I was relaxed and straightforward, and the recruiter called me and asked me back into the building while I was walking to my car in the parking lot.
And if you’re like most here, you believe that technology will be making life much better without you lifting a finger. With you just hanging out and taking a job as a janitor. I wouldn’t think that a janitor has a lot of pressure. Web access, a library card, a gym membership—life wouldn’t be so hard. So consider the janitor job a fall back position, and see if you can do better.
I had something similar. I’ve always looked for what could go wrong. I just naturally see inconsistencies. It seems like a good idea—if you look for what can go wrong, you’re in a position to prevent it. But if you take the availability bias into account, the obsessing over what can go wrong leads to a distorted view of the world that expects more bad things to happens and acts accordingly. I spent effort avoiding and fretting over low probability negative events, while I let higher value opportunities pass me by.
One thing I’ve found—the bad things aren’t the end of the world. Unfortunately, in my fretting and not applying for jobs (hint hint), I screwed myself financially. Guess what? The world kept turning. Movies are still sometimes funny. Root beer floats are still tasty. And eventually I got a job and just recently started buying myself a number of toys I’ve wanted for a while.
Here’s what you might try. Picture the bad thing happening. Ok, it’s happened. What now? Does the sun explode? Clippy turns you into a paper clip? I bet you’ll get a new goal and move on. Thje world will keep turning. And if you’re anything like me, you’ll find the misery of fretting over some negative event was about a zillion times more unpleasant than the event itself, and failed to prevent it anyway. So knock it off. It’s not helping. It’s making everything worse.
Intractable problems occur when what you do to fix the problem makes it worse. Whenever you hear the catastrophizing voice in you head, say “Hello crazy person. Yes, that’s all very interesting, but you’re not helping. I prefer to go to my doom blithely whistling a tune. Now piss off.”
Also, intractable problems occur when you refuse to consider too many options. Try to at least see all your options, instead of immediately eliminating ones you don’t like. See them all, even ones you don’t like. They may not be the ideal, but some of them may be possible, and better than the other alternatives.
Another thing to try. Go to a job interview intending to fail. If you don’t want to go out into the world, you can always turn the job down later. You’re completely safe from having to work if you don’t want to. But it might be convenient to have the option, eh?
Last interview I had, I was already wrapping up another offer, and just went because I had already made the appointment, and thought the connection might come in handy later. I even got a bump in offered pay because the recruiter thought I was hesitant because I wanted more money. At the interview, I was relaxed and straightforward, and the recruiter called me and asked me back into the building while I was walking to my car in the parking lot.
And if you’re like most here, you believe that technology will be making life much better without you lifting a finger. With you just hanging out and taking a job as a janitor. I wouldn’t think that a janitor has a lot of pressure. Web access, a library card, a gym membership—life wouldn’t be so hard. So consider the janitor job a fall back position, and see if you can do better.