Ever since I read this post, I’ve been trying to be as charitable as possible to my opponents, but it’s been an uphill battle because emotions flare up quickly.
I recently discovered a nice psychological trick that happens to work on me, which helps me argue more sanely. As soon as I get angry or emotional, I catch myself, look straight at the other person, and repeat in my mind, I want you to prosper. I want you to be happy. I want you to live a fulfilling life. (This is true, for any and all people who disagree with me.)
Personally, I find it easier than trying to fight negativity with more negativity (“You’re a Bad Person for thinking your opponent is a bad person; why is this such a horrible argument?”). Explicitly reminding myself that I’m on Team Humanity, not Team Political Party, explicitly reminding myself that the point of this arguing is to find a better way to help people, is usually enough to help me zoom out and erase negative feelings.
This hasn’t been extensively tested, but it seems like it would fit the mindset of many people here. It worked on an Objectivist who said he would rather have people in Rwanda and Somalia starve to death than live like “parasites” on private charity. As I type this, I don’t have nearly as much of a negative reaction to this person as I would have otherwise. I want this person to have a good life.
Edit: This is probably due to the Ben Franklin effect. I wonder if it would be strengthened by finding something to verbally compliment them on.
Ever since I read this post, I’ve been trying to be as charitable as possible to my opponents, but it’s been an uphill battle because emotions flare up quickly.
I recently discovered a nice psychological trick that happens to work on me, which helps me argue more sanely. As soon as I get angry or emotional, I catch myself, look straight at the other person, and repeat in my mind, I want you to prosper. I want you to be happy. I want you to live a fulfilling life. (This is true, for any and all people who disagree with me.)
Personally, I find it easier than trying to fight negativity with more negativity (“You’re a Bad Person for thinking your opponent is a bad person; why is this such a horrible argument?”). Explicitly reminding myself that I’m on Team Humanity, not Team Political Party, explicitly reminding myself that the point of this arguing is to find a better way to help people, is usually enough to help me zoom out and erase negative feelings.
This hasn’t been extensively tested, but it seems like it would fit the mindset of many people here. It worked on an Objectivist who said he would rather have people in Rwanda and Somalia starve to death than live like “parasites” on private charity. As I type this, I don’t have nearly as much of a negative reaction to this person as I would have otherwise. I want this person to have a good life.
Edit: This is probably due to the Ben Franklin effect. I wonder if it would be strengthened by finding something to verbally compliment them on.