I’m fairly certain that in the vast majority of the time, negative emotions are ego-dystonic.
They’re not something actively sought out out of a desire for meaning, they’re something essentially inflicted upon the sufferer by parts of their mind that they can’t control.
I think acceptance of negative emotion is often driven from being in that position, a position of helplessness, often driven out of a desire to maintain a good self-image, and avoid entering the negativity loop — and not from a position of having control over whether it happens or not, and seeking it because it brings meaning.
I’m fairly certain that in the vast majority of the time, negative emotions are ego-dystonic.
Working with modalities like Coherence therapy, internal double crux, and Internal Family Systems, I’ve developed the almost reverse hypothesis.
In most cases, it seems like “negative” patterns and emotions come from a subconscious plan—If I experience these negative emotions in these ways, I can (eventually) get my needs meet.
Coherence therapy calls this the “pro-symptom position”.
Examples of pro-symptom positions might include:
“If I stop being miserable, then I won’t be able to relate to my mother, and she won’t love me. So I choose to continue to be miserable.”
““If I go on without Dad and decide to get somewhere on my own, then I’m responsible for my own life. That feels really scary, so I’m holding back.”
“If I stop feeling anxiety around other people, then I might not be as careful about what I say, and then they might hurt me. So I choose to continue to feel anxiety.”
I’m fairly certain that in the vast majority of the time, negative emotions are ego-dystonic.
They’re not something actively sought out out of a desire for meaning, they’re something essentially inflicted upon the sufferer by parts of their mind that they can’t control.
I think acceptance of negative emotion is often driven from being in that position, a position of helplessness, often driven out of a desire to maintain a good self-image, and avoid entering the negativity loop — and not from a position of having control over whether it happens or not, and seeking it because it brings meaning.
Working with modalities like Coherence therapy, internal double crux, and Internal Family Systems, I’ve developed the almost reverse hypothesis.
In most cases, it seems like “negative” patterns and emotions come from a subconscious plan—If I experience these negative emotions in these ways, I can (eventually) get my needs meet.
Coherence therapy calls this the “pro-symptom position”.
Examples of pro-symptom positions might include:
“If I stop being miserable, then I won’t be able to relate to my mother, and she won’t love me. So I choose to continue to be miserable.”
““If I go on without Dad and decide to get somewhere on my own, then I’m responsible for my own life. That feels really scary, so I’m holding back.”
“If I stop feeling anxiety around other people, then I might not be as careful about what I say, and then they might hurt me. So I choose to continue to feel anxiety.”