I have moderated some internet communities (And admin an active one now). Temp bans and warnings can only go so far. At some points you have to be willing to pull the trigger and ban people.
In an internet community, you have less tools to change behavior than in personal conversations (and I say that as having moderated in a big personal development internet forum for years).
As far as personal development frameworks go ideas like of “code of perfection” can be found in Landmark (/The Four Agreements). On the other hand the actual verbal techniques advocated are NVC/Circling/Focusing/Internal Double Crux, which have values of authenticity and accepting the emotions that arise in the moment.
Humans sometimes do have instincts to see other people in bad faith. There are two ways to deal with it.
① Surpress it because you have a codex that doesn’t allow the instinct to be carried out.
② Bring it authentically to the front and be open about it.
Landmarkish thought would advocate ① while Circling leads to ②. Both can work as cultural norms but they are different and if there’s a desire to be in Circling mode, don’t have rules that require the other.
I’m managing/leading an internet gaming community, and the only tools I’ve ever had to use are selection and conversation.
I’ve had one person leave because their goal in joining was to acquire enough information and power to cause harm and they were so unsubtle about it that I was able to identify that and stop them. One additional person left because our norms of ‘don’t cheat’ and ‘be nice to our friends’ were given to him gently by everyone in voice chat every time they were violated.
Oddly enough, both of those people ended up joining a specific competing group that held neither of the norms ‘don’t cheat’ nor ‘don’t make public rape threats towards people who call out your cheating’.
And my selection method? Be public and pushy about what kind of norms you have, and push away people who don’t already have and want to follow those norms.
In an internet community, you have less tools to change behavior than in personal conversations (and I say that as having moderated in a big personal development internet forum for years).
As far as personal development frameworks go ideas like of “code of perfection” can be found in Landmark (/The Four Agreements). On the other hand the actual verbal techniques advocated are NVC/Circling/Focusing/Internal Double Crux, which have values of authenticity and accepting the emotions that arise in the moment.
Humans sometimes do have instincts to see other people in bad faith. There are two ways to deal with it. ① Surpress it because you have a codex that doesn’t allow the instinct to be carried out. ② Bring it authentically to the front and be open about it.
Landmarkish thought would advocate ① while Circling leads to ②. Both can work as cultural norms but they are different and if there’s a desire to be in Circling mode, don’t have rules that require the other.
I’m managing/leading an internet gaming community, and the only tools I’ve ever had to use are selection and conversation.
I’ve had one person leave because their goal in joining was to acquire enough information and power to cause harm and they were so unsubtle about it that I was able to identify that and stop them. One additional person left because our norms of ‘don’t cheat’ and ‘be nice to our friends’ were given to him gently by everyone in voice chat every time they were violated.
Oddly enough, both of those people ended up joining a specific competing group that held neither of the norms ‘don’t cheat’ nor ‘don’t make public rape threats towards people who call out your cheating’.
And my selection method? Be public and pushy about what kind of norms you have, and push away people who don’t already have and want to follow those norms.