A specific other person intuitively sounds better to me, but that might just be because that’s how it has been done in organizations I’ve been in. (Though it sounds hard to schedule if it’s not a specific person, otherwise, and it’s important that this be a regular thing with the specific topic of “talk about how things are going”, not just general spending time together.) Maybe your second in command, maybe a different person from the command structure—I assume there’s going to be people other than you with roles like “general household management” (I am thinking of office managers, if you’re familiar).
I don’t think the pair time accomplishes quite this. Having a specific time set aside for one-on-one meetings specifically as the regular opportunity to bring up issues means issues which might otherwise have stayed at the back of the mind get brought up more. Generic time spent together does not accomplish this. It’s approximately the same reason you want scheduled one-on-one meetings with everyone in the house despite presumably spending a lot of time with the people in the house in other contexts.
Hmmm. It might be good to install as a house norm that everyone has an outside advisor that they commit to checking in with, either once a week or biweekly. Like, someone not directly affiliated with Dragon Army in any way.
That’s only useful if the outside advisor has some level of veto power. I’d suggest something like allowing them to trigger a discussion meeting /outside of Dragon Army Territory/ with the advised, optionally including the Commander and/or other members, and also at the option of the advisor including legal counsel or a medical practitioner.
Not because I expect anyone to need the safeguards involved, but because making those explicitly part of the Expectations makes it harder to coerce somebody into not getting help. Making coercion of the type “You’re fine, no need to waste time and leaving your ingroup to try to explain to some /outsider/ what’s going on, they won’t understand anyway” ring red alarm bell flags is a feature.
Can I get contact info from you? I already have Malcolm’s; if there’s an email address you can use to send a message to TK17Studios at gmail dot com, I can then offer that address to anyone without an obvious check-in.
Can I get contact info from you? I already have Malcolm’s; if there’s an email address you can use to send a message to TK17Studios at gmail dot com, I can then offer that address to anyone without an obvious check-in.
A specific other person intuitively sounds better to me, but that might just be because that’s how it has been done in organizations I’ve been in. (Though it sounds hard to schedule if it’s not a specific person, otherwise, and it’s important that this be a regular thing with the specific topic of “talk about how things are going”, not just general spending time together.) Maybe your second in command, maybe a different person from the command structure—I assume there’s going to be people other than you with roles like “general household management” (I am thinking of office managers, if you’re familiar).
I don’t think the pair time accomplishes quite this. Having a specific time set aside for one-on-one meetings specifically as the regular opportunity to bring up issues means issues which might otherwise have stayed at the back of the mind get brought up more. Generic time spent together does not accomplish this. It’s approximately the same reason you want scheduled one-on-one meetings with everyone in the house despite presumably spending a lot of time with the people in the house in other contexts.
Hmmm. It might be good to install as a house norm that everyone has an outside advisor that they commit to checking in with, either once a week or biweekly. Like, someone not directly affiliated with Dragon Army in any way.
That’s only useful if the outside advisor has some level of veto power. I’d suggest something like allowing them to trigger a discussion meeting /outside of Dragon Army Territory/ with the advised, optionally including the Commander and/or other members, and also at the option of the advisor including legal counsel or a medical practitioner.
Not because I expect anyone to need the safeguards involved, but because making those explicitly part of the Expectations makes it harder to coerce somebody into not getting help. Making coercion of the type “You’re fine, no need to waste time and leaving your ingroup to try to explain to some /outsider/ what’s going on, they won’t understand anyway” ring red alarm bell flags is a feature.
upvote
I am open to being an outside advisor / buddy / contact etc to individuals within this and/or with the project as a whole.
Me too!
Can I get contact info from you? I already have Malcolm’s; if there’s an email address you can use to send a message to TK17Studios at gmail dot com, I can then offer that address to anyone without an obvious check-in.
Sent.
Throwing in with Malcolm as interested in being an outside sanity check.
Can I get contact info from you? I already have Malcolm’s; if there’s an email address you can use to send a message to TK17Studios at gmail dot com, I can then offer that address to anyone without an obvious check-in.