no it feels scarier! I think if I’m interacting with a real live human being in person I basically always instinctively worry about what they think of me even if there’s no strong reason to, and higher uncertainty about what they think of me is more worry-causing; with friends I can somewhat lean on “well they are continuing to be friends with me so they must not be judging me too badly”, and also friends have often disclosed similar vulnerable things to me which makes it easier (I am somewhat more hesitant to share productivity details with friends who I feel are way more productive than me). also “entirely outside my circles” is likely to come with “high inferential gap about various stuff I care about”. I don’t think this all is definitely insurmountable but surmounting it is a currently slightly mysterious first step
(I think “figure out how to tolerate talking to an LLM” might be an easier inroad actually, though that’s differently aversive for me)
I like this post. But also the part of it I found most interesting was this footnote bit:
bc I think I do that kind of a lot, but also am somewhat sensitive to at least some kinds of things that feel like self-deception or thought-avoidance, and really dislike that feeling, so I do tend to probe at things that feel suspicious in that kind of way, which sometimes adds up to pretty unhelpful thought spirals where I’m chasing my thoughts and emotions around and getting kind of stuck in them. might be useful for me to try strategies where I let the avoidance exist, though I’m not sure how—if I’m at the point where I notice the hypothesis at all it’s a pretty unpleasant feeling. I guess “learn to tolerate uncertainty and confusion better” is already a thing I wanted to do, and relevant here.