Just took the survey. Out of curiosity, why is it ancient tradition to upvote for this?
During the part of the survey where you describe your gender and sexual orientation, I thought it might be a good idea to have another question asking to rate your libido on a numbered scale. Perhaps also another question asking your romantic disposition, as it is possible to be asexual but not aromantic.
How can you be sure you aren’t being judged?
I would like to come Sunday, but I have never been to a meetup before. What should I expect it to be like?
I used to feel exactly the same way you described, but towards everyone apart from very close friends and immediate family members. It’s a horrible feeling, and a definite social handicap. At some point, I simply stopped caring and began to act myself around everyone. If they feel uncomfortable, then they can find a way to deal with it. If I am boring them, they are probably boring me as well, so I do not see why it should be up to me to resolve the issue. It does not benefit me in any way to hobble my personality to be “less awkward,” and in most cases I feel that doing so will only make the situation worse.
I’ve recently noticed I too will go to great lengths to avoid imposing on another person. Even if the person has offered something to me, I will turn it down. I’ve assumed I do this either because 1) I do not want to owe a debt to anyone, no matter how small, or 2) I want to feel as self-sufficient as possible, which is a notable subset of 3) a general lack of confidence.
On a related note, I don’t feel imposed on when another asks something of me; most of the time I am glad to help. However, it annoys me to great lengths when I am asked to do a simple task that I know the imposer could have done on their own.
After I first read this article about a year ago, I set out to be more honest in all my conversations. (At this point in time it has become a part of my persona and I no longer do it consciously.) There are a few things I’ve noticed since I made the switch:
It is easier for me to think clearly during social events. I suspect this is because I no longer have to generate lies and keep track of all of them.
I have become more outgoing, although undoubtedly more socially awkward. Occasionally, a person will be shocked at how carelessly I reveal something considered to be embarrassing.
It is easier for me to detect certain lies. I attribute this to my being able to think more clearly, because as Eliezer points out, detecting falsehood might be negatively correlated to being honest.
Note that there is still much more room for me to improve, and my personal reflections on this matter are likely to be deeply flawed.
On what I suspect to be a related side note, I notice that while in math class, I quickly lose interest in solving a problem if I already know that I know how to solve it.
Too far away for me. Maybe next time...
He was being sarcastic.
Would someone be kind enough to give me a brief description of what happens at these meet ups?
For 1, I took it as meaning having a belief in some form of soul, afterlife, or karma.