Some of Harry’s traits that strike me as strongly non-narcissistic: high self-awareness—which appears genuine capable of (correctly) understanding others’ feelings and motivations—does not label or vilify people with very different values desire to see all things as they really are, even if it’s painful (while narcissists typically have delusions)
Thanks for looking for contradictory evidence. I must disagree with your examples, however, because none of them seem non-narcissistic. For example, a narcissistic car salesman can feel superior and swindle people without empathy, despite:
Having high self-awareness of his strengths and weaknesses as a salesman, 2. Understanding people (but not actually caring about them) well enough to sell to them, and 3. Accurately perceiving reality (understanding physics, peoples’ motivations, how to drive to work, how to not act crazy, etc.).
Having high self-awareness of his strengths and weaknesses as a salesman
That’s not at all the same thing as having high self-awareness overall
Understanding people well enough to sell to them
Which may well be not very well at all.
Understanding people in the context of sales is not the same as understanding then generally.
Accurately perceiving reality (understanding physics, peoples’ motivations, how to drive to work, how to not act crazy, etc.).
Which most people do. (though actually an accurate understanding of neither physics nor people’s motivations is required to get by).
I was taking about the “litany of Tarsky”-esqe desire to always seek the truth, even if unpleasant and emotionally painful to learn—which Harry has and very few people generally do.
If you read a list of narcissistic traits, you will see that self-awareness, understanding others, and desire to know the truth are not there. In other words, a narcissist may or may not be self-aware, understand others, or want to know the truth.
Harry is self-aware but is also self-obsessed, understands people but is also selfish, and accurately perceives science but is also grandiose.
Unrealistically so? Is Harry’s assessment of self less accurate than other people’s self-assessments on average?
accurately perceives science
Once again, not what I was talking about.
The traits I mentioned Harry possessing are opposites of what are considered to be narcissistic traits.
From http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Narcissism A lack of psychological awareness (see insight in psychology and psychiatry, egosyntonic) Difficulty with empathy. Magical thinking: Narcissists see themselves as perfect, using distortion and illusion known as magical thinking. They also use projection to dump shame onto others.
What writes my bottom line to a large extent is that my “read” (intuitive assessment) of Harry is that he isn’t a narcissist. (For reasons I won’t go into now, I trust my ability to recognize that). With that as starting point, I picked the minimal set of traits, which to me prove conclusively that Harry isn’t a narcissist (unless to a very small extent).
Some of Harry’s traits that strike me as strongly non-narcissistic:
high self-awareness—which appears genuine
capable of (correctly) understanding others’ feelings and motivations—does not label or vilify people with very different values
desire to see all things as they really are, even if it’s painful (while narcissists typically have delusions)
Thanks for looking for contradictory evidence. I must disagree with your examples, however, because none of them seem non-narcissistic. For example, a narcissistic car salesman can feel superior and swindle people without empathy, despite:
Having high self-awareness of his strengths and weaknesses as a salesman, 2. Understanding people (but not actually caring about them) well enough to sell to them, and 3. Accurately perceiving reality (understanding physics, peoples’ motivations, how to drive to work, how to not act crazy, etc.).
That’s not at all the same thing as having high self-awareness overall
Which may well be not very well at all. Understanding people in the context of sales is not the same as understanding then generally.
Which most people do. (though actually an accurate understanding of neither physics nor people’s motivations is required to get by). I was taking about the “litany of Tarsky”-esqe desire to always seek the truth, even if unpleasant and emotionally painful to learn—which Harry has and very few people generally do.
If you read a list of narcissistic traits, you will see that self-awareness, understanding others, and desire to know the truth are not there. In other words, a narcissist may or may not be self-aware, understand others, or want to know the truth.
Harry is self-aware but is also self-obsessed, understands people but is also selfish, and accurately perceives science but is also grandiose.
Unrealistically so? Is Harry’s assessment of self less accurate than other people’s self-assessments on average?
Once again, not what I was talking about.
The traits I mentioned Harry possessing are opposites of what are considered to be narcissistic traits. From http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Narcissism
A lack of psychological awareness (see insight in psychology and psychiatry, egosyntonic)
Difficulty with empathy.
Magical thinking: Narcissists see themselves as perfect, using distortion and illusion known as magical thinking. They also use projection to dump shame onto others.
What writes my bottom line to a large extent is that my “read” (intuitive assessment) of Harry is that he isn’t a narcissist. (For reasons I won’t go into now, I trust my ability to recognize that).
With that as starting point, I picked the minimal set of traits, which to me prove conclusively that Harry isn’t a narcissist (unless to a very small extent).