I came to the conclusion that I have autistic tendencies a long time ago—lack of understanding of social cues, constant pattern recognition, stuttering, habitual actions… Given the high autism rates in Silicon Valley, it seems likely to me that there is indeed a genetic component, and “high-functioning” autistics have a heterozygous genotype. (Although I don’t think it’s yet ruled out that it could be caused by some type of improper socialization.)
However, I seem to have an uncommon level of ability to self-modify (from my discussions with other people, including rationalists), and since discovering rationality I’ve been attempting to ruthlessly optimize various aspects of myself. For my most recent example, because I didn’t understand social cues I took a PUA seminar and within days I could successfully approach and charm people in bars and clubs, a world that I always thought would be inaccessible to me. It turns out I was just unconsciously sending low-status signals, because I never paid any attention to what myself or others were doing.
This also helps me deal with the symptoms as well. I have habitual actions, but I don’t allow myself to be disturbed if they are interrupted. (In fact, I think settling too quickly into habits means we don’t explore the possibility space thoroughly enough, so I consciously try to break up my routines and find new ways of doing things.) I have narrow interests, but I rotate between different things, in a type of serial immersion. I can even use conscious control over my mouth, tongue and throat to relax my muscles and effectively stop my stuttering.
For what it’s worth I scored a 22. I predict that number will be lower in the future.
You’re not the first person to ask me this, but there are obvious difficulties in conveying exactly what is going on when I do this.
The first step is becoming consciously aware of the phenomenon. Once this occurs, I begin to recognize it immediately when I do it. I then think to myself how I should have responded instead. Over multiple iterations of the above, I begin to internalize this conscious correction as a new habit.
I first used this technique when I took a course on cognition in college and learned about cognitive biases. The availability heuristic was the first to go—I knew when I didn’t have actual data on a phenomenon, making it ridiculously easy to spot.
For my most recent example, because I didn’t understand social cues I took a PUA seminar and within days I could successfully approach and charm people in bars and clubs, a world that I always thought would be inaccessible to me.
This was also my experience; taking a seminar/reading websites on explicit theories of social interaction does make a very large difference. I think it is because once the AS person has a model to work within, they can bring in their strong systematizing ability, and even outperform the innate social instincts of NT people.
I did not find reading websites particularly helpful in this regard. I have always been very “book smart” and I love to theorize about things, but I am coming to realize that implicit experiential knowledge is key for success in this world. It’s easy to know what high/low status signals are, but it’s much harder to become aware of them and know what to do to correct them. Yet it only took a couple hours of in-person training at the seminar to fix the majority of the bad signals.
Despite that nitpick I definitely agree with your point. I needed to construct a mental model of social interaction, and now I can ruthlessly optimize over that as well. I am greatly looking forward to it.
What seminar? I had gone to a few of one particular PUA in person, and, though he was clearly very good, he was completely unable to articulate what it is he does, especially to autistic spectrum people. (Fortunately, he was understanding, and refunded everything.)
Your’e saying that one talks about it specifically in terms of the impact of social cues on status signals, and how to classify various cues as revealing high or low status?
No, they tell you to do this, and to stop doing that. You don’t need the theory, you need instruction, and then you’ll internalize high-status behaviors. (Although we did talk very briefly about theory—tribal mentality, alpha males, status.)
It is explicit about status being a variable, though, if that’s what you’re asking. For example, one of the exercises was role-play: we got assigned high- or low-status and had to act out a scene.
I came to the conclusion that I have autistic tendencies a long time ago—lack of understanding of social cues, constant pattern recognition, stuttering, habitual actions… Given the high autism rates in Silicon Valley, it seems likely to me that there is indeed a genetic component, and “high-functioning” autistics have a heterozygous genotype. (Although I don’t think it’s yet ruled out that it could be caused by some type of improper socialization.)
However, I seem to have an uncommon level of ability to self-modify (from my discussions with other people, including rationalists), and since discovering rationality I’ve been attempting to ruthlessly optimize various aspects of myself. For my most recent example, because I didn’t understand social cues I took a PUA seminar and within days I could successfully approach and charm people in bars and clubs, a world that I always thought would be inaccessible to me. It turns out I was just unconsciously sending low-status signals, because I never paid any attention to what myself or others were doing.
This also helps me deal with the symptoms as well. I have habitual actions, but I don’t allow myself to be disturbed if they are interrupted. (In fact, I think settling too quickly into habits means we don’t explore the possibility space thoroughly enough, so I consciously try to break up my routines and find new ways of doing things.) I have narrow interests, but I rotate between different things, in a type of serial immersion. I can even use conscious control over my mouth, tongue and throat to relax my muscles and effectively stop my stuttering.
For what it’s worth I scored a 22. I predict that number will be lower in the future.
Can you describe the procedure you use when you self-modify?
You’re not the first person to ask me this, but there are obvious difficulties in conveying exactly what is going on when I do this.
The first step is becoming consciously aware of the phenomenon. Once this occurs, I begin to recognize it immediately when I do it. I then think to myself how I should have responded instead. Over multiple iterations of the above, I begin to internalize this conscious correction as a new habit.
I first used this technique when I took a course on cognition in college and learned about cognitive biases. The availability heuristic was the first to go—I knew when I didn’t have actual data on a phenomenon, making it ridiculously easy to spot.
Tentatively—once you decide what you want to change, you put your focus on the change, and check for the outcome after you’ve taken action.
I begin to suspect that one of my problems is assuming I know how a change will feel, and giving up on a change if I don’t get the feeling.
This was also my experience; taking a seminar/reading websites on explicit theories of social interaction does make a very large difference. I think it is because once the AS person has a model to work within, they can bring in their strong systematizing ability, and even outperform the innate social instincts of NT people.
I did not find reading websites particularly helpful in this regard. I have always been very “book smart” and I love to theorize about things, but I am coming to realize that implicit experiential knowledge is key for success in this world. It’s easy to know what high/low status signals are, but it’s much harder to become aware of them and know what to do to correct them. Yet it only took a couple hours of in-person training at the seminar to fix the majority of the bad signals.
Despite that nitpick I definitely agree with your point. I needed to construct a mental model of social interaction, and now I can ruthlessly optimize over that as well. I am greatly looking forward to it.
What seminar? I had gone to a few of one particular PUA in person, and, though he was clearly very good, he was completely unable to articulate what it is he does, especially to autistic spectrum people. (Fortunately, he was understanding, and refunded everything.)
Pickup 101
Edit: they offer more than one, I took Art of Attraction.
Your’e saying that one talks about it specifically in terms of the impact of social cues on status signals, and how to classify various cues as revealing high or low status?
No, they tell you to do this, and to stop doing that. You don’t need the theory, you need instruction, and then you’ll internalize high-status behaviors. (Although we did talk very briefly about theory—tribal mentality, alpha males, status.)
It is explicit about status being a variable, though, if that’s what you’re asking. For example, one of the exercises was role-play: we got assigned high- or low-status and had to act out a scene.
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