Lara: As far as I can tell, there are four basic problems.
First, if adults constantly praise and reward you for solving math problems, writing stories, and so on, then you aren’t forced to develop interpersonal skills to the same extent most kids are. You have a separate source of self-worth, and it may be too late that you realize that source isn’t enough. (Incidentally, the sort of interpersonal skills I’m talking about often get conflated with caring for others’ welfare, which then leads to moral condemnation of nerds as egotistical and aloof. But the two qualities seem completely unrelated to me. As often as not, those who are most skilled at convincing others to go along with them also care about others the least.) Of course, the same might in principle be true for any unusual talent, including musical or athletic talent—except that the latter are understood and rewarded by one’s peer group in a way that intellectual skills aren’t.
Second, math, physics, and so on can simply be fun, independently of whatever self-worth one derives from them. In this they’re no different from tennis or basket weaving or any other activity that some people enjoy. The trouble, again, is that while math and physics are reasonably well-rewarded economically, they’re not rewarded socially. And therefore, deriving pleasure from them can have the same sorts of social implications as deriving pleasure from heroin.
Third, even if you manage to overcome these handicaps, other people won’t know you have, and will be guided by the reigning stereotypes. They might decide before talking to you that you couldn’t possibly have anything in common with them. Naturally, this sort of thing can be overcome given enough social skill, but it’s another obstacle.
The fourth problem is specific to technical fields (rather than literary ones), and is just the well-known gender imbalance in those fields.
Given all of this, what’s surprising is not that so many “intelligence-centric types” are unhappy, but rather that in spite of it many manage to live reasonably happy lives. That’s the interesting part! :-)
Lara: As far as I can tell, there are four basic problems.
First, if adults constantly praise and reward you for solving math problems, writing stories, and so on, then you aren’t forced to develop interpersonal skills to the same extent most kids are. You have a separate source of self-worth, and it may be too late that you realize that source isn’t enough. (Incidentally, the sort of interpersonal skills I’m talking about often get conflated with caring for others’ welfare, which then leads to moral condemnation of nerds as egotistical and aloof. But the two qualities seem completely unrelated to me. As often as not, those who are most skilled at convincing others to go along with them also care about others the least.) Of course, the same might in principle be true for any unusual talent, including musical or athletic talent—except that the latter are understood and rewarded by one’s peer group in a way that intellectual skills aren’t.
Second, math, physics, and so on can simply be fun, independently of whatever self-worth one derives from them. In this they’re no different from tennis or basket weaving or any other activity that some people enjoy. The trouble, again, is that while math and physics are reasonably well-rewarded economically, they’re not rewarded socially. And therefore, deriving pleasure from them can have the same sorts of social implications as deriving pleasure from heroin.
Third, even if you manage to overcome these handicaps, other people won’t know you have, and will be guided by the reigning stereotypes. They might decide before talking to you that you couldn’t possibly have anything in common with them. Naturally, this sort of thing can be overcome given enough social skill, but it’s another obstacle.
The fourth problem is specific to technical fields (rather than literary ones), and is just the well-known gender imbalance in those fields.
Given all of this, what’s surprising is not that so many “intelligence-centric types” are unhappy, but rather that in spite of it many manage to live reasonably happy lives. That’s the interesting part! :-)