Not revealing your own preferences and giving a balanced analysis that doesn’t make them too obvious usually works.
But I don’t think you can meaningfully manipulate people by accident. The nearest thing is probably having/developing a general approach that leads to you getting your way over other people, noticing it, and deciding that you like getting your way and not changing it.
What you really can do (and what almost everyone does) is manipulate people while maintaining plausible deniability (including sometimes to yourself). But I suspect most people can identify when they’re manipulating people and trying to trick themselves into thinking they’re not.
But I don’t think you can meaningfully manipulate people by accident.
I don’t think it’s impossible, though I agree that it normally only happens in unfavourable situations such as someone from an Ask culture talking to someone from a Guess culture.
Not revealing your own preferences and giving a balanced analysis that doesn’t make them too obvious usually works.
But I don’t think you can meaningfully manipulate people by accident. The nearest thing is probably having/developing a general approach that leads to you getting your way over other people, noticing it, and deciding that you like getting your way and not changing it.
What you really can do (and what almost everyone does) is manipulate people while maintaining plausible deniability (including sometimes to yourself). But I suspect most people can identify when they’re manipulating people and trying to trick themselves into thinking they’re not.
I don’t think it’s impossible, though I agree that it normally only happens in unfavourable situations such as someone from an Ask culture talking to someone from a Guess culture.
I’m not very good at hiding my feelings.
(Maybe I should start poker in meatspace on a regular basis again, or something like that.)