This is a marvellous piece of fan fiction. Well done! But one small cavil, and please delete this post if you deem it annoying or counterproductive...
Am I right in thinking this is intended to be in British English? If so it needs a lot of work. For example, the phrase ‘British pounds’ is almost never used in British English, and sounds clunky (use ‘quid’ if you need to make it clear that it’s not a weight); ‘dreamed’ is more often ‘dreamt’; ‘honour’ and ‘favour’ are missing their ‘u’s; the phrase ‘Aw crap’ should be ‘Oh crap’; ‘luggage’ is a mass noun, so ‘luggages’ is impossible; and ‘moot’ (which means ‘up for discussion’ in BrE) should be ‘irrelevant’ in the criticism of the game of quidditch. But no matter—it’s still bloody brilliant.
In the first chapter, it’s noted “The story has been corrected to British English up to Ch. 17, and further Britpicking is currently in progress (see the /HPMOR subreddit).”. Given your points, it seems like it’s not even thouroughly britpicked up ’til 17. I expect Eliezer to have written that note quite some time ago, so I’m not too hopeful about this still going on at the subreddit, either.
This version, HPMOR.com, fanfiction.net, and the pdf all have “honor” (without a u) at two places in chapter 7. I don’t think there is a more updated version.
This is a marvellous piece of fan fiction. Well done! But one small cavil, and please delete this post if you deem it annoying or counterproductive...
Am I right in thinking this is intended to be in British English? If so it needs a lot of work. For example, the phrase ‘British pounds’ is almost never used in British English, and sounds clunky (use ‘quid’ if you need to make it clear that it’s not a weight); ‘dreamed’ is more often ‘dreamt’; ‘honour’ and ‘favour’ are missing their ‘u’s; the phrase ‘Aw crap’ should be ‘Oh crap’; ‘luggage’ is a mass noun, so ‘luggages’ is impossible; and ‘moot’ (which means ‘up for discussion’ in BrE) should be ‘irrelevant’ in the criticism of the game of quidditch. But no matter—it’s still bloody brilliant.
In the first chapter, it’s noted “The story has been corrected to British English up to Ch. 17, and further Britpicking is currently in progress (see the /HPMOR subreddit).”. Given your points, it seems like it’s not even thouroughly britpicked up ’til 17. I expect Eliezer to have written that note quite some time ago, so I’m not too hopeful about this still going on at the subreddit, either.
We copied the version from fanfiction.net two years ago. Maybe the HPMOR.com version is more up to date?
This version, HPMOR.com, fanfiction.net, and the pdf all have “honor” (without a u) at two places in chapter 7. I don’t think there is a more updated version.
Alas, then I guess the britpicking never properly completed.