I read your last section (“Note general failure mode: …”) with amusement as I have found myself following almost the exact train of thought several times recently.
It was an appreciated, although unpleasant, kick-in-the-teeth to realise that my thought process actually belied negative aspects to my character rather than positive ones.
Could I ask for advice then on reversing this situation? What internal monologue, or indeed actions, should be ideally followed based on a situation identical to the one given in the article.
I’d advise redoing the entire process, carefully and methodically. Note that the monologue I wrote doesn’t include a single mention of the person’s positive traits; it doesn’t come up with a story to excuse the person’s irksome behavior; and the behavior of the monologuer is not conducive to reaping cognitive dissonance, because she has a complete explanation in mind for why she’s doing as she does (she is high-minded and tolerant and good) that doesn’t involve liking the person. This means that if you get to that monologue, the steps I outline didn’t “stick”.
I read your last section (“Note general failure mode: …”) with amusement as I have found myself following almost the exact train of thought several times recently.
It was an appreciated, although unpleasant, kick-in-the-teeth to realise that my thought process actually belied negative aspects to my character rather than positive ones.
Could I ask for advice then on reversing this situation? What internal monologue, or indeed actions, should be ideally followed based on a situation identical to the one given in the article.
I’d advise redoing the entire process, carefully and methodically. Note that the monologue I wrote doesn’t include a single mention of the person’s positive traits; it doesn’t come up with a story to excuse the person’s irksome behavior; and the behavior of the monologuer is not conducive to reaping cognitive dissonance, because she has a complete explanation in mind for why she’s doing as she does (she is high-minded and tolerant and good) that doesn’t involve liking the person. This means that if you get to that monologue, the steps I outline didn’t “stick”.