My husband and I have been married for 8 years and have known each other for 18.
We share a sense of humor (very important for my everyday life) and some tastes in fiction, but have divergent hobbies and intellectual pursuits. He is not interested in rationality.
Although I sometimes wish we had more interests in common, it’s relaxing to not have him be competition in those areas. With regard to rationality, he rarely calls me out on biases or tries to get me to explain a problem more precisely than I already have. I have other friends who do that, and although I respect and appreciate it, it’s not always comfortable. My husband is someone comfortable I can always turn to. He sympathizes, reassures me, and helps me brainstorm solutions. He’s intelligent, motivated, and has good ideas that often cut across the ruts I’ve been wearing in my thought process. He respects and trusts my ability to think through things thoroughly, and doesn’t denigrate it as overthinking, though sometimes I’m disappointed he doesn’t always want to hear the saga of how I came to make a decision.
As for EA, we currently donate 5% of our net income to mostly effective charities, primarily due to my wishes. My husband appreciates GiveWell’s guidance, reads up on their top charities, and voices some preferences about which ones he’s feeling each year during our allocation conversation. He understands behind-the-scenes tools like QALYs but doesn’t geek out about them like I do, which I am fine with.
My husband and I have been married for 8 years and have known each other for 18.
We share a sense of humor (very important for my everyday life) and some tastes in fiction, but have divergent hobbies and intellectual pursuits. He is not interested in rationality.
Although I sometimes wish we had more interests in common, it’s relaxing to not have him be competition in those areas. With regard to rationality, he rarely calls me out on biases or tries to get me to explain a problem more precisely than I already have. I have other friends who do that, and although I respect and appreciate it, it’s not always comfortable. My husband is someone comfortable I can always turn to. He sympathizes, reassures me, and helps me brainstorm solutions. He’s intelligent, motivated, and has good ideas that often cut across the ruts I’ve been wearing in my thought process. He respects and trusts my ability to think through things thoroughly, and doesn’t denigrate it as overthinking, though sometimes I’m disappointed he doesn’t always want to hear the saga of how I came to make a decision.
As for EA, we currently donate 5% of our net income to mostly effective charities, primarily due to my wishes. My husband appreciates GiveWell’s guidance, reads up on their top charities, and voices some preferences about which ones he’s feeling each year during our allocation conversation. He understands behind-the-scenes tools like QALYs but doesn’t geek out about them like I do, which I am fine with.