The existence and popularity of PUA isn’t so much a response to men who feel deprived of sex, it’s targeted at men who feel deprived of sex and romance and any idea of what they’re doing wrong and any known strategy for even getting started on fixing things.
Oh, interesting. That’s the first explanation/justification for PUA that hasn’t seemed creepy to me.
There is a significant difference though between wanting an explanation and feeling entitled to one. Anything that suggests a sense of entitlement, particularly when that crosses a privilege asymmetry, risks seeming threatening. “I’ve already said no and they have not unconditionally accepted that” is not that far a step from “they are giving vibes that suggest they think my right to a no can be overridden by their desires”.
I don’t think it’s actually that hard to signal “unconditional acceptance and a harmless desire for more information if you’re feeling generous”, but if we’re talking about a population with insufficient people/social skills, that will not be easy for them.
I agree it’s a virtue to donate information in such cases, but I don’t agree they’re entitled to it.
Oh, interesting. That’s the first explanation/justification for PUA that hasn’t seemed creepy to me.
There is a significant difference though between wanting an explanation and feeling entitled to one. Anything that suggests a sense of entitlement, particularly when that crosses a privilege asymmetry, risks seeming threatening. “I’ve already said no and they have not unconditionally accepted that” is not that far a step from “they are giving vibes that suggest they think my right to a no can be overridden by their desires”.
I don’t think it’s actually that hard to signal “unconditional acceptance and a harmless desire for more information if you’re feeling generous”, but if we’re talking about a population with insufficient people/social skills, that will not be easy for them.
I agree it’s a virtue to donate information in such cases, but I don’t agree they’re entitled to it.