There’s no avoiding negotiation—the actual truth is that it’s about preferences (both in what states are preferable and in how much effort to put into it). There is no objective authority you can appeal to. Get over that.
It may help, for longer-term relationships, to negotiate utility functions and happiness of each other, rather than (or as a precursor to) negotiating tasks and chore rotations.
There’s no avoiding negotiation—the actual truth is that it’s about preferences (both in what states are preferable and in how much effort to put into it). There is no objective authority you can appeal to. Get over that.
It may help, for longer-term relationships, to negotiate utility functions and happiness of each other, rather than (or as a precursor to) negotiating tasks and chore rotations.