Not sure if what I have in mind is the same, but I can think of scenarios where an explanation of how I’m wrong makes it feel like my concerns are being dismissed instead of being addressed. I’m guessing it’s because a child’s reasoning can seem illogical to an adult even though they actually make sense from the child’s perspective, and it’s upsetting when adults fail to acknowledge this.
Notice that jefftk is responding to the child from the child’s perspective. The child thinks that there’s not enough pasta, presumably because of what they can see from the serving bowl. jefftk shows the child the extra pasta in the kitchen (so the child can see that there’s actually more pasta), thus addressing the child’s concerns.
In contrast, one may answer from the adult’s perspective instead. For example, they may say that there’s enough because one serving of pasta is x grams and they made 10 servings when we have only 8 people. Or maybe they say that it’s made by grandma who has lots of experience in estimating how much everyone needs. These make sense from the adult’s perspective, but if the child doesn’t really understand or trust the reasoning (e.g. because they don’t have the concepts yet), then such explanations would feel more like dismissals of the child’s concerns.
Notice that jefftk is responding to the child from the child’s perspective.
Later on yes—perhaps—but not in real time. The question in my mind is why is the child so anxious about people taking their food and having enough food? Is this a thing that happens often? Is there a lack of security about getting enough food? Do adults behave in capricious ways that violate the child’s rights?
Explaining that there is actually enough food may actually miss the point. The point is that in the moment the child did not, for whatever reason, trust that they would have enough food. Why was that?
There is an analogy to my situation in that my problem is that I was very sad that my grandmother had died and it was explained that I was wrong to be sad because she was in heaven. Which my mother much later admitted she did not actually balieve. It was a lie to shut me down. And it was made clear that being sad or expressing sadness was not allowed.
Did they really address the child’s concerns—that someone can take their food and they will not have enough? What they did was showed that it was in the power of adults to get more food—not at all the same thing.
Not sure if what I have in mind is the same, but I can think of scenarios where an explanation of how I’m wrong makes it feel like my concerns are being dismissed instead of being addressed. I’m guessing it’s because a child’s reasoning can seem illogical to an adult even though they actually make sense from the child’s perspective, and it’s upsetting when adults fail to acknowledge this.
Notice that jefftk is responding to the child from the child’s perspective. The child thinks that there’s not enough pasta, presumably because of what they can see from the serving bowl. jefftk shows the child the extra pasta in the kitchen (so the child can see that there’s actually more pasta), thus addressing the child’s concerns.
In contrast, one may answer from the adult’s perspective instead. For example, they may say that there’s enough because one serving of pasta is x grams and they made 10 servings when we have only 8 people. Or maybe they say that it’s made by grandma who has lots of experience in estimating how much everyone needs. These make sense from the adult’s perspective, but if the child doesn’t really understand or trust the reasoning (e.g. because they don’t have the concepts yet), then such explanations would feel more like dismissals of the child’s concerns.
Later on yes—perhaps—but not in real time. The question in my mind is why is the child so anxious about people taking their food and having enough food? Is this a thing that happens often? Is there a lack of security about getting enough food? Do adults behave in capricious ways that violate the child’s rights?
Explaining that there is actually enough food may actually miss the point. The point is that in the moment the child did not, for whatever reason, trust that they would have enough food. Why was that?
There is an analogy to my situation in that my problem is that I was very sad that my grandmother had died and it was explained that I was wrong to be sad because she was in heaven. Which my mother much later admitted she did not actually balieve. It was a lie to shut me down. And it was made clear that being sad or expressing sadness was not allowed.
Did they really address the child’s concerns—that someone can take their food and they will not have enough? What they did was showed that it was in the power of adults to get more food—not at all the same thing.