Please don’t be offended, this is not my intention at all, rather I intend to offer what I believe are valid suggestions.
Obviously, you like and love many things about her, yet you two were ultimately incompatible. In my experience partners often compliment each other in both good and bad ways. I suggest therapy because, to be perfectly honest, it’s quite likely you have about as many problems as her(just different ones) if you were with her long enough to get engaged.
I also suggest an excellent book called The Erotic Mind. You (presumably) have a high degree of sexual compatibility with her, yet now you have broken up and it’s highly likely that your sexual dynamic contained unhealthy elements, was probably turbulent at times, etc. This book has helped me tremendously in figuring out my sexuality, learning to love my sexuality, not feeling inhibited or ashamed of my fantasies, and it gave me a lot of insight into the dynamics of my relationships.
So to inform you, at first I was offended but I think this was a cached thought. I’d say I probably have a bit of white knight syndrome and a lack of assertiveness. Another was the sexual dynamic, she keyed in on my exact sexual fantasy. Also, she was my first, which had a lot to do with it and what makes that book sound really interesting.
EDIT: I guess I should mention this fantasy is highly unethical, and perhaps partly immoral. So I really don’t expect to ever find anyone else to fill it. Anyone who would fill it would probably have side-interests I’d want to avoid. If anyone wants to know in private, I can talk about it.
I don’t really desire to know your specific fantasies. However, if fantasies are something meaningful/concerning to you then that book is the best source of useful knowledge about them I have ever seen.
I also think the book is one of those that becomes even more meaningful when one has more relationship history, rather than being intended primarily for the inexperienced.
Please don’t be offended, this is not my intention at all, rather I intend to offer what I believe are valid suggestions.
Obviously, you like and love many things about her, yet you two were ultimately incompatible. In my experience partners often compliment each other in both good and bad ways. I suggest therapy because, to be perfectly honest, it’s quite likely you have about as many problems as her(just different ones) if you were with her long enough to get engaged.
I also suggest an excellent book called The Erotic Mind. You (presumably) have a high degree of sexual compatibility with her, yet now you have broken up and it’s highly likely that your sexual dynamic contained unhealthy elements, was probably turbulent at times, etc. This book has helped me tremendously in figuring out my sexuality, learning to love my sexuality, not feeling inhibited or ashamed of my fantasies, and it gave me a lot of insight into the dynamics of my relationships.
So to inform you, at first I was offended but I think this was a cached thought. I’d say I probably have a bit of white knight syndrome and a lack of assertiveness. Another was the sexual dynamic, she keyed in on my exact sexual fantasy. Also, she was my first, which had a lot to do with it and what makes that book sound really interesting.
EDIT: I guess I should mention this fantasy is highly unethical, and perhaps partly immoral. So I really don’t expect to ever find anyone else to fill it. Anyone who would fill it would probably have side-interests I’d want to avoid. If anyone wants to know in private, I can talk about it.
I don’t really desire to know your specific fantasies. However, if fantasies are something meaningful/concerning to you then that book is the best source of useful knowledge about them I have ever seen.
I also think the book is one of those that becomes even more meaningful when one has more relationship history, rather than being intended primarily for the inexperienced.