Disagreements can lead to bad real-world consequences for (sort of) two reasons:
1) At least one person is wrong and will make bad decisions which lead to bad consequences.
2) The argument itself will be costly (in terms of emotional cost, friendship, perhaps financial cost, etc).
In terms of #1, an unnoticed disagreement is even worse than an unsettled disagreement; so thinking about #1 motivates seeking out disagreements and viewing them as positive opportunities for intellectual progress.
In terms of #2, the attitude of treating disagreements as opportunities can also help, but only if both people are on board with that. I’m guessing that is what you’re pointing at?
My strategy in life is something like: seek out disagreements and treat them as delicious opportunities when in “intellectual mode”, but avoid disagreements and treat them as toxic when in “polite mode”. This heuristic isn’t always correct. I had to be explicitly told that many people often don’t like arguing even over intellectual things. Plus, because of #1, it’s sometimes especially important to bring up disagreements in practical matters (that don’t invoke “intellectual mode”) even at risk of a costly argument.
It seems like something like “double crux attitude” helps with #2 somewhat, though.
Disagreements can lead to bad real-world consequences for (sort of) two reasons:
1) At least one person is wrong and will make bad decisions which lead to bad consequences. 2) The argument itself will be costly (in terms of emotional cost, friendship, perhaps financial cost, etc).
In terms of #1, an unnoticed disagreement is even worse than an unsettled disagreement; so thinking about #1 motivates seeking out disagreements and viewing them as positive opportunities for intellectual progress.
In terms of #2, the attitude of treating disagreements as opportunities can also help, but only if both people are on board with that. I’m guessing that is what you’re pointing at?
My strategy in life is something like: seek out disagreements and treat them as delicious opportunities when in “intellectual mode”, but avoid disagreements and treat them as toxic when in “polite mode”. This heuristic isn’t always correct. I had to be explicitly told that many people often don’t like arguing even over intellectual things. Plus, because of #1, it’s sometimes especially important to bring up disagreements in practical matters (that don’t invoke “intellectual mode”) even at risk of a costly argument.
It seems like something like “double crux attitude” helps with #2 somewhat, though.
See my reply to Jess.