I think it’s often worth making a comparison to “what am I trying to achieve in my relationship with my partner? With another adult, you’re not trying to mold them into a better human. You’re trying to enjoy the time you have together now, and next month, and over the decades.
There’s a lot of parenting that makes a difference to how much you both enjoy the next 18 years. Like the “teaching them not to whine” thing—you will both be happier if they have other ways of getting their needs met.
This is only tangential, but “does being friend with them pushes me into becoming a better human” is a pretty good question to ask about your friends. And if the answer is a resounding”no”, considering not being friend with them is a good next step.
I think it’s often worth making a comparison to “what am I trying to achieve in my relationship with my partner? With another adult, you’re not trying to mold them into a better human. You’re trying to enjoy the time you have together now, and next month, and over the decades.
There’s a lot of parenting that makes a difference to how much you both enjoy the next 18 years. Like the “teaching them not to whine” thing—you will both be happier if they have other ways of getting their needs met.
This is only tangential, but “does being friend with them pushes me into becoming a better human” is a pretty good question to ask about your friends. And if the answer is a resounding”no”, considering not being friend with them is a good next step.
Exactly, well-put.