This feels very related to a section I didn’t write for the post because it was getting too long about how to “quote” claims about the other person’s self-model in a way which defuse conflict while leaving you with a wider range of conversational motion. Basically by saying e.g.
“I have a story that you’re angry with me” rather than ”You’re angry with me”
The other person can accept your statement into their conversational stack safety, even if they’re not angry. Because another person thinking you’re angry while you’re not angry is totally compatible as a model, but you being angry while you’re not angry is not. So if you try and include their mental object it fires a crapton of error messages for colliding predictive models.
This feels very related to a section I didn’t write for the post because it was getting too long about how to “quote” claims about the other person’s self-model in a way which defuse conflict while leaving you with a wider range of conversational motion. Basically by saying e.g.
“I have a story that you’re angry with me”
rather than
”You’re angry with me”
The other person can accept your statement into their conversational stack safety, even if they’re not angry. Because another person thinking you’re angry while you’re not angry is totally compatible as a model, but you being angry while you’re not angry is not. So if you try and include their mental object it fires a crapton of error messages for colliding predictive models.