But caring about rationality, as well as curiosity and skepticism, is a pretty big part of who I am and I want to have a group of people in my life who are okay with that. I want to have people I can be rational around without them being rude or condescending towards me.
This is a fine desire to have. I share it.
And people who have some interest in rationality, any interest at all, are the only people I really feel fully safe around for this reason.
And herein lies your problem.
You have, I surmise, encountered many terrible people in your life. This sucks. The solution to this is simple, and it’s one I have advocated in the past and continue to advocate:
Be friends with people who are awesome. Avoid people who suck.
Let me assure, you in the strongest terms, that “rationalists” are not the only people in the world who are awesome. I, for one, have a wonderful group of friends, who are “interested in rationality” in, perhaps, the most tangential way; and some, not at all. My friends are never “rude or condescending” to me; I can be, and am, as “rational” around them as I wish; and the idea that my close friends would not be ok with curiosity and skepticism is inconceivable.
It is even perfectly fine and well if you select your personal friends on the basis of some combination of intelligence, curiosity, skepticism, “rationality”, etc. But this is not at all the same thing as making a “rationality community” out of Less Wrong & co—not even close.
Finally:
For example, I want people I can be around an acknowledge that high rents are caused by housing shortages instead of “tech-bros”. I want it to be safe to say that without being accused of mansplaining.
For God’s sake, get out of the Bay Area. Seriously. Things are not like this in the rest of the world.
Alright. Well, generalize my advice, then: leave the social circles where that sort of thing is at all commonplace. If that requires physical moving cities, do that. (For example, I live in New York City. I don’t recall ever hearing the term “tech-bro” used in a real conversation, except perhaps as an ironic mention… maybe not even that.)
This is a fine desire to have. I share it.
And herein lies your problem.
You have, I surmise, encountered many terrible people in your life. This sucks. The solution to this is simple, and it’s one I have advocated in the past and continue to advocate:
Be friends with people who are awesome. Avoid people who suck.
Let me assure, you in the strongest terms, that “rationalists” are not the only people in the world who are awesome. I, for one, have a wonderful group of friends, who are “interested in rationality” in, perhaps, the most tangential way; and some, not at all. My friends are never “rude or condescending” to me; I can be, and am, as “rational” around them as I wish; and the idea that my close friends would not be ok with curiosity and skepticism is inconceivable.
It is even perfectly fine and well if you select your personal friends on the basis of some combination of intelligence, curiosity, skepticism, “rationality”, etc. But this is not at all the same thing as making a “rationality community” out of Less Wrong & co—not even close.
Finally:
For God’s sake, get out of the Bay Area. Seriously. Things are not like this in the rest of the world.
Alright. Well, generalize my advice, then: leave the social circles where that sort of thing is at all commonplace. If that requires physical moving cities, do that. (For example, I live in New York City. I don’t recall ever hearing the term “tech-bro” used in a real conversation, except perhaps as an ironic mention… maybe not even that.)