Well, there’s a bunch of things it communicates at once:
Probably you are angry, and I’m your friend so I will give you a place to vent your anger, if you want.
Probably you are sad, so I will try to cheer you up by telling you that what happened is not that big of a deal, because if she’s not interested, then she is not worth feeling too sad about.
Meanwhile, “she’s just not that into you” sounds like you’re taking her side. “Well, she can do what she wants.” But if you’re my friend and I’m the one that the sad thing happened to, then I’d want you to keep the situation about me. So even if she is perfectly justified in being not that into me, I don’t want it brought up right at that moment.
Therefore! Those girls who reacted by calling that girl a bitch probably don’t actually think she’s a bitch. If they encounter her later in life, they probably won’t pounce on her with something like, “You’re that bitch that stopped replying to my friend army1987! We totally hate you!” They are instead most likely just comforting you in a confusingly aggressive-sounding way.
Probably you are angry, and I’m your friend so I will give you a place to vent your anger, if you want.
Actually they were more like ‘Huh, you don’t seem to be very angry.’ [And indeed I wasn’t.] ‘How comes??? If a guy did that to me, I’d be FURIOUS!!!’ (That’s a paraphrase, of course, but not a terribly loose one.)
Well, there’s a bunch of things it communicates at once:
Probably you are angry, and I’m your friend so I will give you a place to vent your anger, if you want.
Probably you are sad, so I will try to cheer you up by telling you that what happened is not that big of a deal, because if she’s not interested, then she is not worth feeling too sad about.
Meanwhile, “she’s just not that into you” sounds like you’re taking her side. “Well, she can do what she wants.” But if you’re my friend and I’m the one that the sad thing happened to, then I’d want you to keep the situation about me. So even if she is perfectly justified in being not that into me, I don’t want it brought up right at that moment.
Therefore! Those girls who reacted by calling that girl a bitch probably don’t actually think she’s a bitch. If they encounter her later in life, they probably won’t pounce on her with something like, “You’re that bitch that stopped replying to my friend army1987! We totally hate you!” They are instead most likely just comforting you in a confusingly aggressive-sounding way.
Actually they were more like ‘Huh, you don’t seem to be very angry.’ [And indeed I wasn’t.] ‘How comes??? If a guy did that to me, I’d be FURIOUS!!!’ (That’s a paraphrase, of course, but not a terribly loose one.)
ETA: In other words, it seems that’s another instance of a pattern I noticed before.