I feel like “don’t circle at people without their consent” is meaningfully different from “do not express your feelings or let other people know what would make communication easier for you.” Very few people have ever circled, but nearly everyone can express feelings and preferences.
That rule might exclude people who only have one script for expressing feelings and preferences, however, which is a particular concern in a community where so many people rely on scripts to communicate.
I agree that they are different; I was thinking in the context of Val’s worry that trying to enforce a rule of “no circling / NVC on LW without express consent” will in practice become interpreted as
“Don’t express your feelings or ask about mine” and “If you express preferences about how I communicate and the topic is emotionally laden, then you’re making a status grab and should be ashamed.”
I feel like “don’t circle at people without their consent” is meaningfully different from “do not express your feelings or let other people know what would make communication easier for you.” Very few people have ever circled, but nearly everyone can express feelings and preferences.
That rule might exclude people who only have one script for expressing feelings and preferences, however, which is a particular concern in a community where so many people rely on scripts to communicate.
I agree that they are different; I was thinking in the context of Val’s worry that trying to enforce a rule of “no circling / NVC on LW without express consent” will in practice become interpreted as
Circling isn’t just about expressing feelings or preference but it’s about being explicit about relating.
It’s not just saying “I’m sad” but saying “When you said X that made me sad”. Circling is also less about scripts than NVC.